It takes more than a village, It takes a Savior!

I’m constantly hearing, “it takes a village to raise a child”.  Now with my own kids, I appreciate help, but I feel like it is mine (and my husband’s) responsibility to be the main influences in our children’s lives while they are growing up.  There is nothing wrong with receiving help from others-we LOVE when a friend or family member invests time in building up our kids. We really appreciate the teachers at our daughter’s school, too, but someday I will be standing before God answering for how I raised my children and I don’t want Him to say that I missed out because I let the “village” raise them for me!

It was a cold day, so the kids and I decided to take a trip to the mall.  We were playing a fun game where my 4 year old lead the way through the winding aisles.   It was a great outing-until an unsuspecting store worker came by with the pallet of death! Ok, maybe a little bit of an overstatement, but with the reaction and winning “mommy moment” that follows, I wanted to DIE!

We’re weaving through the aisles and I see a large pallet of merchandise coming our way.  I quickly tell my 4 year old to move-somehow her hearing is magically gone-amazing how if you whisper the words “ice cream” from 3 rooms away they hear you, but when you’re standing next to them, nothing.  One more time I told her to move, again, nothing.  So, I gently grabbed her arm and guided her out of the way. 

That’s when it happened-she yelled “No, Mommy!” and full-on SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE! What?! Only really bad moms get slapped in the face! Surely, this is not happening to me AND in a very public place…

Immediately a thought popped into my head (from the Holy Spirit I’m sure, b/c in moments I’m at my worst my human nature says, “Hey, Kim, just walk away and pretend they are someone else’s kids until they stop crying”-don’t judge, I know you’ve thought that about your kids at some point too!)

The thought was this: “You don’t need a village, you need a savior!” I’ve been a Christian for a long time-I don’t need to say the prayer of salvation again in  the middle of this, so what is this to mean? Quite simply it means that I need God to inform my parenting-I need to pause, and ask for HIS help.  I have found that means ignoring my human desire to be angry, frustrated, or embarrassed and IMMEDIATELY start praying over my children.  I pray they will hear the words and see the actions they need FROM GOD through me in that moment.  

I literally stop in the middle of wherever I am and begin to pray-not necessarily out loud, although you can! And every time it puts my human nature in check, puts God in charge, and gives me a moment to realize this too will pass!

In that moment, I prayed for 5 seconds while putting my daughter back into the stroller.  After just that quick prayer, my ego (which was damaged and seeking some type of human response to save face) was back in check.   I explained her behavior was unacceptable and we were leaving immediately.  She then began to cry, contort herself in the stroller, and scream “I HATE you, Mommy” all the way out of the store. With my Spirit-led calm, I walked her out to the car without feeling frustrated or even embarrassed.

 At home she was finally calm enough for a real conversation, God was able to speak through me to my daughter as I explained the severity of hitting mommy and dispensed the appropriate punishment.

As you find yourself in those inevitable moments of what I call Parenting Ego Checks, remember, it’s not the village you need, we are all fallen, weak, and human.  What you really need is your Savior!

I encourage you to memorize this verse so in those moments, the Spirit will lead you to prayer, rather than your human response.

Psalm 50:15

“Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."

Also, don’t forget to give God the glory, no matter what the situation!

Just Be a Kid Today!

Me (age 5) With my family :)

Many of you probably had “that toy” when you were little, you know, the one that was just more special that the others-your unrivaled favorite.  I enjoyed playing house with all my dolls, but none more than my Cabbage Patch Boy, Andy.  I saved up all of my money to buy him myself.  I even sent in his “official” adoption forms so I would get a certificate saying I was Andy’s “real” mom.

 Last year my parents drove to my house and brought a large box full of my childhood toys and in that box was my precious Andy with all of his clothes and his “official” adoption certificate.  Upon the sight of all these things, memories flooded my mind.  I truly loved Andy-he was my son.  I couldn’t wait to finish school so I could go home to him and we could play together.  I spent as much time as I could holding him, loving him, and enjoying him.  It sounds silly to say now, but the innocence of my childhood playing with Andy was so wonderful.

Those days of playing, however, have long past, and now life is full of all those adult things to do.  It seems like in today’s world there’s an expectation to be “Super Mom”.  We should be able to do all things and still look cute, maintain our sanity, and never grow tired.  I often find myself checking in on Facebook or Pintrest and instantly feeling inferior-It seems like all of my friends have perfect kids, clean houses, matching outfits, and gorgeous hair and make-up when my biggest accomplishment of the day is changing from one set of pajamas to another.

I’m not upset with others for doing well, I’m blaming myself for looking at it incorrectly.  God gave me my life-a life that I’m thankful for and love very much! Everyone has tough days and that’s OK-the trick is not letting Satan take those tough days and use them to make you feel that you’re anything less than God’s amazing creation.  No, I’m not perfect, but b/c I have Jesus, I don’t need to be!  All I need to do is ask and God will be my strength, my patience, and my encouragement.  

I get caught up in the “to-do” lists, the piles of laundry, the demands of the world.  I forget what it means to stop and completely focus on the beauty of my own children’s childhoods.  I often hear about how quickly it all passes.  Before I know it my children won’t be kids anymore and I will be longing for those sweet snuggles, requests that I play, and silly laughs at the little things.  I forget that they are God’s creation too-and I need to spend the time He’s given me with them, not with piles of dirty dishes!

So today, I encourage you, Mommies, let the lists go-stop worrying about the chores, the errands, and the stresses of adult life.  Ask God to be your strength, patience, and encouragement.  Take time to stop and enjoy childhood again with your own kids!

One thing that helps me do this is praying scripture for myself and my kids-here is my prayer for today-I encourage you to try this too! There is nothing more powerful than speaking God’s promises over your life and your family to remind you about what’s really important today!

This verse is a prayer/praise to God from the people of Israel-As Christians we are now God’s chosen people, so this is amazingly powerful when you plug in your own name, family, or children and pray this aloud back to God!

1 Kings 8:57-60
⁵⁷May the LORD our God be with NATALIE as he was with our fathers; may he never leave HER nor forsake HER. ⁵⁸May he turn NATALIE’S heart to him, to walk in all his ways and to keep the commands, decrees and regulations he gave HER fathers. ⁵⁹And may these words of mine, which I have prayed before the LORD, be near to the LORD our God day and night, that he may uphold the cause of ME, his servant and the cause of NATALIE according to each day's need, ⁶⁰so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other.

Just 2, Huh?!

Our family moves around a lot.  With all of that moving comes meeting new people.  That inevitably leads to the obligatory “Getting to know you” small talk.  I actually love to meet new friends and love talking to people (those of you who know me well, know what I’m sayin here!) Anyway, as we’ve encountered some of these new people, I’ve found myself overwhelmingly annoyed by their response to my statement about how many kids I have. 

Many of you now must be thinking I’m one of you amazing women who have like 6 kids AND her sanity-while I immensely respect you mommies of multitudes, I am not one.  So now you must really be wondering what I’m talking about.

Well, in the past few years our family has expanded from 1 child to 2 children and apparently having 2 kids is just no big deal.  I can’t tell you how many times in our meeting new people, during the “getting to know you” small talk I’ve said, “We have 2 girls” and received the response-“Oh, only 2?” followed up with, what I consider MUCH more than “getting to know you” small talk,  “So are you having more?” As if 2 just isn’t impressive enough to have mentioned or we are expected to have more, b/c 2 is just not enough to keep busy (yet somehow they managed to keep me mighty busy!)

Now, let’s be clear, I have often jokingly asked my sisters, my cousins, and even my friends, “So when are you trying for another munchkin?” I am not offended so much by the question itself, but rather the implication it carries in the context above.   Perhaps what is even worse is that this response has been from people who also have kids.  I was always under the impression that 2 kids was just “the norm” (not that that has anything to do with why we have 2), but apparently the larger family is on the rise with our generation.  I fully support the idea of larger families, but more importantly I embrace the idea of each family making a God-lead decision about what’s right for them without judgment (especially from other Christians!)

As a military wife I’m expected to have it all together, handle anything from a deployment to moving 1,000 miles with a child, while pregnant over the Christmas holiday (yes, we’ve done that-I don’t recommend it!).  So in that context, quite obviously 2 kids is easier than say 3-4.   That being said, it’s not a competition, point system, or battle to see who is more woman amongst us b/c they have the biggest entourage (that’s what I call my little ones for fun when they are in tow!)

But 2 kids is a lot-Shoot, 1 kid is a lot! Having a child changes everything and having 2 kids changes it again, and 3 again, and so-on.  My fellow mommies know that kids can be all-consuming.  They require tons of  love and attention.  Even on the good days, they still change the way you do everything-not in a bad way, but life is VASTLY different once you have children.  What I guess is most annoying to me is the implication that 2 kids is just easy, so hey why not just have another-as if children are just something you collect b/c you have extra rooms in your house-you have an empty bedroom, so why not head over to Best Buy and pick another kid to fill the space. 

For my family having a child is treated like the BIG deal that it is! Yes, it is God who makes the final decision, but every family should be prayer about God's path for them, especially when it comes to having kids! And for all of those people who think 2 kids is no big deal, I would invite them to come and visit at about 3pm when the oldest (who NEVER naps) is throwing toys at the youngest (SHOULD be napping, but won't fall asleep) while at the same time the dishes need washing, the laundry is piling up, and dinner is waiting to be prepared and that’s not even counting the errands! 

I’m not saying that 2 kids is impossible or even difficult all the time-and to those of you with many more, just laugh at my naivety, but for our family, God said 2 is enough. We love our children and are more than content with that. I have also heard from friends with many children that people often say rude things about the fact that they have 4 or 5 kids, which is just wrong! Please don’t condescend b/c God called your family to something different.

We need to be encouraging one another and lifting our sisters in Christ up b/c whether you’re a mom of 1 sweet soul or many more sweet souls, we all have the same calling from God-to be Godly mothers to whatever children He gives us and point them to Him.  No matter how many kids you have that is a very challenging, exciting, and life changing undertaking for anyone!

“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Annie vs. Evil Mommy: The Broccoli Standoff

 

EVIL, Pure evil! It brings with it screaming, crying, and complete chaos for my 2 year old.

So far we’ve had a pretty easy road.  My old daugher (now 4 years old) never really made us suffer through the infamous “Terrible Twos”.  She's had fits here and there and is excessively stubborn, but is also people pleaser, so a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store would have been too embarrassing for her.  I didn’t truly appreciate this until my sweet, wild child Annie came along!

My 2 year old Annie is quite a character. She’s never met a stranger, you never have to wonder what she’s thinking, and she is the most hilarious person she’s ever met.  That being said, she’s also 2, VERY 2!

She decides what she wants and that’s what she’s going to get-at least that’s how her plan goes-then Evil Mommy gets in the way of toddler glory, poor Annie!

On this particular day, Evil Mommy brought out the kryptonite of Annie-Broccoli! She didn’t flinch at first, she finished everything else on the plate, then decided she was done.  She quietly climbed out of her chair, attempting to draw as little attention to herself as possible and then silently (and literally) tip-toed away from the table.  Solid plan and execution on her part: the only problem, Evil broccoli-serving Mommy saw the whole thing.

As with any good vs. evil plot, Evil Mommy soon had captured her and placed her back in the precarious position at the table, with broccoli back in her path.  She didn’t know what to do next, after all, her getaway was flawless and it didn’t even come close to tricking her evil adversary.  Then she came up with plan B-she grabbed the plate of broccoli and threw it as hard as she could right at Evil Mommy, then as quickly as possible made her escape.  BUT she was no match for Evil Mommy’s speed-before she knew it she was back in that same seat in a face-off once again with that horrible vegetable. 

What’s a toddler to do?! Well, in this case, she activated her “Chaos Scream”-she yelled, cried, and squirmed, but to no avail. Evil Mommy didn’t even flinch.  After 2 hours, Annie admitted defeat, and fell asleep, still at the table facing off with the Kryptonite Broccoli. 

When she awoke, the entrancing powers of Evil Mommy were too strong to defeat, so she peacefully ate the broccoli-come to find out, it was not kryptonite at all.  It was the key to her release.  As soon as she swallowed, Evil Mommy disappeared, Good Mommy came, helped her out of her chair, and she was released to play another day. 

We’re never sure when the next battle between Annie and Evil Mommy will happen-it could be any moment, but Annie is always ready, unfortunately for her, so is Evil Mommy!

Share with me your stories/tricks/tips on getting your toddlers/kids to eat their veggies

What?! Mermaids do NOT go potty in the water!

 Natalie and Annie are OBSESSED with Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” right now. We watch the movie on repeat, know all the songs, have our own mermaid names (I’m Arista!) and every time we go swimming we get to act out various scenes from the movie. 

My parents are here in Tampa visiting from Michigan, so naturally, they want to go to the beach.  I personally HATE the beach-I know, I’m crazy, or more accurately, I burn pretty much EVERY time I’m outside (yes, even with SPF 80!) and there are certain parts of the human body that weren’t designed for sand, yet, every time I go to the beach those seem to be the first parts the sand gets lodged in! Anyway, despite my feelings about the beach, I loaded everyone in the car and headed for the nearest waterfront oasis. 

The weather was perfect a perfect 85 and sunny.  We unloaded our stuff and took off for some fun in the water.  The girls were having a great time, Natalie was performing some musical selections, pretending to be Ariel-life was good.

About 5 minutes later Natalie came running out of the water to explain that she had to go potty.  Since it’s the off season right now, the bathrooms are under construction.  This leaves one obvious, but not ideal option-go in the water. 

Before I suggested this, I verified she only had to pee (can you imagine me telling her to go potty in the water otherwise-YIKES!).  Then I said to her, “Well, you can just go potty in the water”. 

Natalie is my princess: prim, proper, and prissy.  So as I was explaining the idea of going potty in the water to her, she was cringing in disbelief, and utter disgust.  She then says to me, “Um, No, Mommy, that is SO gross-we do NOT pee in the water!” 

I totally understand the mixed message I’m sending here, but she’s been potty trained for a while, and lets be honest, you got to do what you got to do.  Then I have a moment of what I thought was a moment of mothering genius.  I tell Natalie, “Well, you know Ariel pees in the water!” (Yes, now that I’m saying it out loud, it doesn’t sound as awesome as it did in my head!) 

 She replies, “No, mermaids do NOT pee in the water, they are beautiful and perfect and peeing in the water is gross, and they don’t do gross things, so they can’t pee in the water!” I have to say, for a 4 year old, the logic is quite sound! I realize there is no convincing her that peeing in the water would ever be an option, so I tell her just to hold it. 

Unlike some of my previous stories (when she just HAD to go), she says, “Ok!” and goes back to play in the water.   A while later we headed home and as we use the potty, Natalie says, “Mommy, where does Ariel go potty?” I, again, explained that she must go potty in the water, but that just can’t be right.  She has now decided that when we see Ariel at Disney World in a few weeks, she’s going to ask….so to my friend, Ariel, who we will see in a few weeks, I’m sorry, but secretly DYING to hear what the real answer to our potty dilemma could possibly be!

Magically Forgiven

I am teaching Awana tonight, so I thought I'd share my object lesson-I practiced this presentation on my 4 year old and she thought it was super cool too :) It's super easy to do-just check out the directions, verses, and pics! 

This is a visual lesson on Hate/Sin and Forgiveness

You get 4 small, clear containers and one floral vase (the kind that fits one flower)

-In 3 of the containers mix ¼ cup water and with 1 drop of food coloring (1 blue, 1 green, 1 red)

-In the last small container, mix ¼ cup bleach

-Put ½ cup of water into the bottom of the floral base

As you explain each color, pour it into the large floral vase-as you do it will make the water dark and then you explain the forgiveness as you pour the bleach in-it takes about 2 1/2 -3 mins, but when the bleach is done working, the water will be clear again.

Presentation

GREEN: Jealousy

         -Proverbs 14:30-A tranquil heart gives life, but a jealous heart makes bones rot

-Exodus 20:17-You shall not covet/envy/be jealous of anything that is your neighbors

Blue: Anger/Frustration

         -James 1:20-Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires

         -Ecclesiastes 7:9-Do not be quickly provoked, for anger resides in the foolish

Red: Selfishness

         -Philipians 2:3-Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but rather in humility value others above yourself

Result of all these things is HATE-these are all sins that taint our lives

HOW DO WE FIX this?

CLEAR: Forgiveness

         In your life: Ephesians 4:31-32-Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, fighting and slander along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ forgave you.

From Jesus: 1 John 1:9-If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness

All you have to do is believe that Jesus’ forgiveness is enough-we are all sinners, we have all done things wrong, but all we have to do is believe that Jesus died, and rose from the dead for our sins, and that his forgiveness is the only way to get eternal life.  

LONGEST Trip Ever: Part 3

 Day 3: 

After a refreshing few days staying with an awesome friend in Georgia, we were ready for the final leg of our trip.  The kids once again were NOT ready to be back in the car and say goodbye to their BFFs, but onward and upward.

This day was the WORST-We’d already done 14+ hours in the car and this one was supposed to be the long day-ha, I know, as if the other days we’re already long, this one was scheduled to be the longest so far at just over 8 hours….YIKES!

Once again, I’m lying to myself, believing that surely I’ve got this, blah, blah, blah….

We start out and nothing really major-this time I made it 3 hours and 30 mins before utter chaos, meltdown, car HELL.  So at least we’re improving, right?! No, actually what the delay in meltdown was, they were building it up, joining forces to make this the most grand break down we’d seen to date. 

We’re at the 3 hour mark and the kids start asking for lunch, and I behold the most miraculous sign one can see on a road trip-CHICK-FIL-A next exit! Our most favorite fast food place-when I save favorite I mean, we eat there so regularly, my children know the logo, the cows, and menu! I use a meal at Chick-fil-a for major bribes, rewards, and boo-boo cure!

 So we’re in the car, see the sign and hallelujahs rang out, the heavens opened up and at that moment life was complete.  Okay, perhaps a bit of an overstatement, but you fellow mommies will agree that sometimes you have to take the little wins b/c that may be the only win you have all day! We stop at Chick-fil-a, eat lunch, and play.  It is then time to get back on the road….

The kids begrudgingly get back in the car and that’s when it happened.  We get back on the freeway and pull away from any sign of civilization and together they begin to scream.  As I mentioned in previous days, I just block this out. 

They begin to fight with each other-which, honestly at this point, better them doing that to each other than me (I know, I’m a terrible person, but hey, you mommies can’t say you haven’t felt that way before, at least once!)

Then, the worst thing of all, DEAFENING SILENCE…Those of you with little kids know why this is so dangerous-I look in my rear view mirror and see that my 4 year old has wiggled out of the top part of her car seat and is attempting to change the 2 year old’s diaper-WITH POOP IN IT! She's managed to undo the diaper and is now pulling it out from under her sister's poopy butt. 

I don't even know what the appropriate, motherly scolding response is in that moment-so I just yell, “STOP touching your sister’s poop!” One of those things you never imagine yourself saying, then you have a couple kids and all of a sudden the weirdest, grossest, craziest things start coming out of your mouth. 

“STOP” was the wrong thing to yell b/c then she just drops diaper and now there is poop rolling around on the floor in the backseat of my car.  In my moment of confusion, still traveling 70 mph down the highway, I yell, “Why did you drop that?” Then I get an answer (with a tone that is SOOOO 16 year old attitude) “You said Stop, so I did”…. Well, yet another mommy fail, she’s absolutely right, that IS what I said. Yup, that's it, I once again was throwing up the white flag of surrender and admitting udder (stinky) defeat!

5 LONG, smelly, angry minutes pass until, I find a place to stop and clean up the mess.  As I’m picking up poop off the floor of my car, my sweet little 2 year old looks at me with a huge smile on her face and says, “Thanks, Mommy, that’s stinky”.  I couldn’t agree more, my love!

A while longer in the car, a few more lollipops, movies, and over-the-top bribes and we finally reach Tampa, Florida-also known to me during this trip as the Promised Land!!

Over the course of 3 days alone in the car with my kids, I laughed like I never have before, did things I’ve harshly judged other parents for, and learned that sanity is relative (and fleeting) with little kids.   

I do have to say, I kinda feel like Super Mom just for making it-at least until the next time I have to be trapped in a confined space with those mini-monsters (Appropriate “Mommy translation”: I love my sweet kids, I just don't want to be in the car alone with them for 22+ hours EVER AGAIN!)