Being Still....Day 20, 21, & 22

As I have said before, I am "doer".  Part of being a "doer" is the feeling of accomplishment.  I am not a super accomplished person. I mean I have a college degree, and I've held down a job.  I've got a couple kids I keep alive, and my marriage is pretty awesome, but in the eyes of the world, none of those things are considered "Truly noteworthy accomplishments"......

That used to really bother me-that I am not "more".  When I was home with 2 very small kiddos, I used to say to my husband, "I am better than this, you know-I am better than dirty diapers, dishes, laundry, and breastfeeding."  Not to say those things don't matter, but for me, I didn't see the "worldly value" in something I could easily pay someone else to do for me.  

When we would introduce ourselves to new people and the inevitable "what do you do" question would come up, I would always say, "I teach high school, but for now, I am staying home".  Just so people would know that I am "better" that "just staying home" (despite the fact that for me, staying home is way harder than any job I've ever had).  

In my pursuit of Being still, I have started to understand why I felt that way.  It is because I was failing.  Not at being a mom or wife, but failing at being what God wanted.  I was failing to be content in him.  I was failing at being in his presence.  I was failing at being in the moment he'd called me to.  

I would never dare to say that you should or shouldn't work or stay home or whatever. And I would never dare to call one path harder than the other.  What I am saying is that whatever God calls you to, be content in him.  If you're a "doer" and you're called to stay home, don't get caught up in the lie that you aren't "doer"ing enough. If you work, don't get caught up in the lie that you're not "good enough" mommy b/c your kids aren't with you 24/7.   Stop! Stop those lies from playing over and over in your head.  Seek God's presence and have contentment and peace about what God has called you to do.

We may not always know why God calls us to something.  We may not always know why God wants us in a certain place or job or church, but we don't need to know.  Part of faith is obedience and part of obedience is contentment in doing what you're called to do.  

I am not saying that you will never have days when you wish your life was different.  I am not saying you will never have days where you long for something more, but what I am saying is that you are always enough in God's eyes.  

Your worth is not measured by how much money you bring home, how important you think you are, or how much the world values you.  Your worth is perfectly measured in God's eyes and when you spend time in his presence truly seeking him, there is no way he will ever let you feel like less.  

So, go and do what he has called you to, even if it's hard or confusing.  We don't need all the answers,  b/c we have the God of the Universe.  

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.