Our family moves around a lot.
With all of that moving comes meeting new people.
That inevitably leads to the obligatory
“Getting to know you” small talk.
I actually love to meet new friends and love talking to people (those of
you who know me well, know what I’m sayin here!) Anyway, as we’ve encountered
some of these new people, I’ve found myself overwhelmingly annoyed by their
response to my statement about how many kids I have.
Many of you now must be thinking I’m one of you amazing women who have like 6
kids AND her sanity-while I immensely respect you mommies of multitudes, I am
not one.
So now you must really be
wondering what I’m talking about.
Well, in the past few years our family has expanded from 1
child to 2 children and apparently having 2 kids is just no big deal. I can’t tell you how many times in our
meeting new people, during the “getting to know you” small talk I’ve said, “We
have 2 girls” and received the response-“Oh, only 2?” followed up with,
what I consider MUCH more than “getting to know you” small talk, “So are you having more?” As if 2 just
isn’t impressive enough to have mentioned or we are expected to have more, b/c 2 is just not enough to keep busy (yet somehow they managed to keep me mighty busy!)
Now, let’s be clear, I have often jokingly asked my sisters,
my cousins, and even my friends, “So when are you trying for another munchkin?”
I am not offended so much by the question itself, but rather the implication it
carries in the context above.
Perhaps what is even worse is that this response has been from people
who also have kids. I was always
under the impression that 2 kids was just “the norm” (not that that has
anything to do with why we have 2), but apparently the larger family is on the
rise with our generation. I fully
support the idea of larger families, but more importantly I embrace the idea of
each family making a God-lead decision about what’s right for them without judgment
(especially from other Christians!)
As a military wife I’m expected to have it all together,
handle anything from a deployment to moving 1,000 miles with a child, while
pregnant over the Christmas holiday (yes, we’ve done that-I don’t recommend
it!). So in that context, quite
obviously 2 kids is easier than say 3-4. That being said, it’s not a competition, point system,
or battle to see who is more woman amongst us b/c they have the biggest
entourage (that’s what I call my little ones for fun when they are in tow!)
But 2 kids is a lot-Shoot, 1 kid is a lot! Having a child
changes everything and having 2 kids changes it again, and 3 again, and
so-on. My fellow mommies know that kids can be all-consuming. They require tons of love and attention. Even on the good days, they still change the way you do everything-not in a bad way, but life is VASTLY different once you have children. What I guess is most
annoying to me is the implication that 2 kids is just easy, so hey why not just
have another-as if children are just something you collect b/c you have extra rooms in your house-you have an empty bedroom,
so why not head over to Best Buy and pick another kid to fill the space.
For my family having a child is treated like the BIG deal
that it is! Yes, it is God who makes the final decision, but every family should be prayer about God's path for them, especially when it comes to having kids! And for all of those people who think 2 kids is no big deal, I
would invite them to come and visit at about 3pm when the oldest (who NEVER
naps) is throwing toys at the youngest (SHOULD be napping, but won't fall asleep) while at the same
time the dishes need washing, the laundry is piling up, and dinner is waiting
to be prepared and that’s not even counting the errands!
I’m not saying that 2 kids is impossible or even difficult
all the time-and to those of you with many more, just laugh at my naivety, but
for our family, God said 2 is enough. We love our children and are more than content with
that. I have also heard from friends with many children that people often say rude things about the fact that they have 4 or 5 kids, which is just wrong! Please don’t condescend b/c God
called your family to something different.
We need to be encouraging one another and lifting our
sisters in Christ up b/c whether you’re a mom of 1 sweet soul or many more
sweet souls, we all have the same calling from God-to be Godly mothers to
whatever children He gives us and point them to Him. No matter how many kids you have that is a very challenging,
exciting, and life changing undertaking for anyone!
“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is
old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
