It takes more than a village, It takes a Savior!

I’m constantly hearing, “it takes a village to raise a child”.  Now with my own kids, I appreciate help, but I feel like it is mine (and my husband’s) responsibility to be the main influences in our children’s lives while they are growing up.  There is nothing wrong with receiving help from others-we LOVE when a friend or family member invests time in building up our kids. We really appreciate the teachers at our daughter’s school, too, but someday I will be standing before God answering for how I raised my children and I don’t want Him to say that I missed out because I let the “village” raise them for me!

It was a cold day, so the kids and I decided to take a trip to the mall.  We were playing a fun game where my 4 year old lead the way through the winding aisles.   It was a great outing-until an unsuspecting store worker came by with the pallet of death! Ok, maybe a little bit of an overstatement, but with the reaction and winning “mommy moment” that follows, I wanted to DIE!

We’re weaving through the aisles and I see a large pallet of merchandise coming our way.  I quickly tell my 4 year old to move-somehow her hearing is magically gone-amazing how if you whisper the words “ice cream” from 3 rooms away they hear you, but when you’re standing next to them, nothing.  One more time I told her to move, again, nothing.  So, I gently grabbed her arm and guided her out of the way. 

That’s when it happened-she yelled “No, Mommy!” and full-on SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE! What?! Only really bad moms get slapped in the face! Surely, this is not happening to me AND in a very public place…

Immediately a thought popped into my head (from the Holy Spirit I’m sure, b/c in moments I’m at my worst my human nature says, “Hey, Kim, just walk away and pretend they are someone else’s kids until they stop crying”-don’t judge, I know you’ve thought that about your kids at some point too!)

The thought was this: “You don’t need a village, you need a savior!” I’ve been a Christian for a long time-I don’t need to say the prayer of salvation again in  the middle of this, so what is this to mean? Quite simply it means that I need God to inform my parenting-I need to pause, and ask for HIS help.  I have found that means ignoring my human desire to be angry, frustrated, or embarrassed and IMMEDIATELY start praying over my children.  I pray they will hear the words and see the actions they need FROM GOD through me in that moment.  

I literally stop in the middle of wherever I am and begin to pray-not necessarily out loud, although you can! And every time it puts my human nature in check, puts God in charge, and gives me a moment to realize this too will pass!

In that moment, I prayed for 5 seconds while putting my daughter back into the stroller.  After just that quick prayer, my ego (which was damaged and seeking some type of human response to save face) was back in check.   I explained her behavior was unacceptable and we were leaving immediately.  She then began to cry, contort herself in the stroller, and scream “I HATE you, Mommy” all the way out of the store. With my Spirit-led calm, I walked her out to the car without feeling frustrated or even embarrassed.

 At home she was finally calm enough for a real conversation, God was able to speak through me to my daughter as I explained the severity of hitting mommy and dispensed the appropriate punishment.

As you find yourself in those inevitable moments of what I call Parenting Ego Checks, remember, it’s not the village you need, we are all fallen, weak, and human.  What you really need is your Savior!

I encourage you to memorize this verse so in those moments, the Spirit will lead you to prayer, rather than your human response.

Psalm 50:15

“Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."

Also, don’t forget to give God the glory, no matter what the situation!