30 isn't old, RIGHT?!

Tomorrow I turn 30 and I'm not so sure how to feel about that....I am not worried about feeling "old", it is more that in my life, as well as the life of my family, I have reached a crossroads, and now I need to figure out how God is going to use me next....

You see, when I was growing up, like most little girls, I dreamed of getting a college degree, finding a Godly man, getting married, having kids....you know, the normal stuff.

Well, I did that. After 8 years, we are no longer goggly-eyed newlyweds, the kids are quickly getting older (and we're not having any more), but my childhood dreams didn't ever go beyond the beginnings of those things, so now what? I didn't dream of raising kids, or keeping a marriage new and interesting after years, so I've reached confusing waters.

For the past 6 years I've been very focused on the home front:  Nurturing babies, holding down the fort, and trying to keep our young marriage strong in the face of exhaustion and constant change.  

When I first made the decision to stay home, it was a huge struggle and sacrifice for me.  I had a good job that I loved, and felt very fulfilled.  However, as I prayed about whether or not to continue working, I knew, undoubtedly home is where God wanted me for that season of life.  It took 3 years, and lots of prayer to get to a place where I was finding God's joy in my life everyday.  Now, as our kids grow to need me in different, less constantly taxing ways, I feel God is calling me to also do something different for Him than staying home....But what?

I am finding myself asking God what He wants my next endeavor to look like.  As both kids are in school, and my husband is deeply involved in work, where is He calling me to make an eternal impact.  I know that my role at home will always be important as wife and mom, but what about outside of that? What else does God want me to do for His Kingdom?

All of this change just so happens to coincide with my 30th birthday, yet I can't help but feel this is God's physical time stamp for the next great thing in my relationship with Him. I will have to stand before God on my own someday and answer for all of the choices I've made, so I want to make sure that I am choosing to follow what He has for my life.

 At the end of the day, my soul belongs to God, not my husband, not my children: God!  I think as moms we often forget that, because we get so bogged down with others needs, wants, and "To Do's".  I don't want to lose the "Me" God created.  As a wife and mom, I feel selfish when I have that thought, but if I am really living with God as my focus, I will find that it isn't about anyone else.  I do those things for my family out of a desire to show them the love of God.  I exercise patience, selflessness, and unconditional love not because of who I am, but because of who God has called me to be.

So, as I start a new decade of life, I am a little nervous about God's next calling....But so excited to see where He's going to lead and see one more piece of exactly what God's created me for!

Here are few scriptures and a prayer that I would encourage you to read/pray if you're feeling like you're in a similar place of change in your life!!

2 Corinthians 9:8
And God is able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work.

Ephesians 1:18-19
…18I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you will know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance in the saints, 19and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of the strength of His might

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for," Declares the LORD. "Plans to prosper and not to harm you. Plans to give you a hope and a future."  

My Prayer For the Future:

Lord,
  Thank you so much for caring about me enough to plan my future.  Thank you for making it so much greater than anything I could ever even dream.  Give me your eyes to see where you want to use me next.  Give me the faith, patience, and hope needed to take whatever steps you ask of me.  May my actions, words, and thoughts bring glory to your Holy Name, and make an eternal impact.  
Love your servant,
Kim
  

I let other people raise my kids...???

     Photo Credit: Aubrianah Shannen Photography, Lynchburg, Va 2013

This post was written by my sister, Colleen Larkins.  She is a working mother of 2 and has a great perspective on something that many of us stay at home moms don't think about.  Enjoy!

It was normal small talk type of conversation, then I mentioned I am a working mom,  her response:"I could never let other people raise my kids, but everyone is called to something different.” 

I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs. I didn’t know how to respond.  I was a new mom and my heart ached every time I left my son. Never in my wildest dreams did I expect this to be anyone’s view of me, that I let other people raise my kids. All the sleepless nights, endless diapers, and hours spent rocking my restless infant came crashing in on me.  I was new to this mom thing and I had no idea this was a statement that I would hear over and over again in the next five years.  

Time has caloused my once sensitive Mommy heart and that comment no longer sends me into a depressed mindset.  It still bothers me, but it doesn’t destroy me like it once did.  Because the truth is I have an irreplaceable role in my kids' lives, I am their mother-the only one they will ever have, so it IS my husband and I who are raising our kids.  

It is true that my children spend days with caring, loving daycare providers and teachers.  Those wonderful women give snuggles on cranky days, wipe noses, change diapers and give correction, BUT at the end of the day my kids come home with me, their mother, who loves them unconditionally in a way no one else ever could. These nurturers help in raising my kids, they do part of the job, but if you walked into a daycare or school and asked the teacher “are you raising these kids”  they would say “No”.  Not because they don't want to offend the parents whose children they care for, but because they know that raising kids is not just a job, it is your whole life. 

As a parent, you don't get to simply punch out at the end of the day, or call someone else to manage the little ones when you aren't feeling well.  Despite the fact that these teachers spend the days with my kids, they aren’t the ones waking up with them in the middle of the night when they have bad dreams.  They aren’t the ones cleaning up bucket after bucket during the stomach bug.  They aren’t the ones snuggling them in the evening to talk about how he got left out at school.  They aren’t the ones that decide what my children are taught about life. They aren't the ones who love my child unconditionally.

Maybe you had no idea how bad those words hurt.  I get that, I have learned, after the fact, that something I said hurt, it’s not fun.  Maybe you need to justify a role you play in life, but the truth is you don’t.  You made a decision based on what’s best for your family, and so did I.  No matter the reason you have said this in the past or think it today, please friend refrain from saying it again.  Show your fellow Moms some compassion and love, instead of cutting them down.  Being a mom is the toughest job in the world-whether you're home with your children during the day, or work outside of the home, we are all just doing our best.  Let's keep that in mind and think about each other's feelings before we speak about someone else's choices.  

Sincerely, 

That Mom who works…