I Got This....

I’m what some people (my husband, namely!) would call an excessive planner- I like to know what’s going on next, where we’re going to be, what we’re going to be doing, how long it’s going to take, how many changes of underpants are required, what snacks to bring, and any and all possible roadblocks that might derail the aforementioned answers.

It was the week before I was going solo with the kids on a 22 hour road trip to meet my husband in Florida where he's working temporarily.  Everything was falling into place and I was ready to take on a task I thought would be relatively easy: putting on the rooftop carrier.  My wonderful husband usually does this, but since he’d left 6 weeks earlier, it was on me and I was going in with the ultimate, She-Hulk, I got this, amazing wife attitude….

I have a small SUV-it’s actually more like a station wagon-but it has a sunroof, which really ups the "cool factor"! I hoisted the carrier up onto the top of my roof rack.  So far, so good! Then I opened it so I could secure the hardware to the roof rack.  You guessed it, that’s when things got complicated! I couldn’t get the hardware secured around my roof rack, so I figured if I climbed onto the roof, put my body partially inside the plastic top carrier, I could get a better look.  Did I mention my driveway is a hill?!  Sounds foolproof, right?!

Just as I straddled the hood of my car and climbed up the windshield, the top carrier slipped.  I grabbed it and in the process, flipped off the front of my car. At this very moment, my sundress found it’s way from conservatively below the knees, to completely over my head (yes, I was THAT confident, that I was doing all of this in a dress).  Everyone on the block was now seeing MUCH more than usual while walking their dogs, riding their bikes, and playing with their children-let’s just say, I don’t think I’ll be getting Christmas cookies from the neighbors this year!

After dusting myself off and reclaiming the smallest shred of dignity I had left (I know, I had no dignity at all, but I was pretending I did so I still appeared to be in control of the situation, so sad!) I got the roof carrier secured and loaded.  It was at this moment, I wish I had asked someone for some help instead of insisting that I could do this myself!

That story is the perfect example of how I all too often say to God, “I made a plan, so I got this! I’ll call you when it’s something I REALLY can’t handle, but until then, I don’t really need you today!”

The part I so often miss in my fleshly pursuit of control is that God WANTS me to ask Him for help! His plans are abundantly better than anything I could think or imagine (Eph. 3:20) So why do I continue to work so hard to just fulfill my mediocre plans when I can have His Abundance Plan?

In my life, this will always be a challenge b/c we’re constantly on the move, but for those of you who may never move to a new place, I challenge you to stop and ask God to reveal His Abundance Plan in your life! Don’t get so caught up in the planning and listing, instead get caught up in the praying and watching. 

His word Says: (1 John 5:14-15)

¹⁴ This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. ¹⁵ And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.

WELLLLL, Poop!

I realize that a lot of my stories revolve around misplaced bodily fluids-believe me, if I had a choice, that wouldn’t be such a prevalent topic, but with toddlers, well, that’s what happens.  I love them more than I could express, but kids are gross.  I am convinced that God makes them cute so we forget how yucky they are!

I repeatedly tell my husband that I can’t wait for the day when mine is the only bowel movement in the house I have to be concerned with-those will be glorious, poop-free days, but until then, I shall plug my nose, avert my squeamish eyes, and power through….or so I tell myself every time I start to smell something funky brewing!

On this particular day my sister and her family were visiting.  I have a 3 year old nephew, Caleb, who is very sweet.  My daughter, Natalie, and him just love playing together-they are funny and when I see them it reminds me of my sister and I playing when we were little. 

After playing all morning, Caleb was ready for a nap-he’s an extraordinary sleeper (I’m SUPER jealous b/c my Natalie hasn’t napped since she was about 13 months old).  After about 2 hours, we began to hear him stirring in Natalie’s room.  I went up to check on him and that’s when I saw something so hilarious and gross at the same time I didn’t even know what to say….

He was sitting on the step stool, reading a book, with his pants at his ankles, pooping through the hole in said step stool-I asked what he was doing and he said, “I had to poop in the potty”.  He was being toilet trained on one of those little plastic potties that sits on the floor, so this stepstool was confusing-it was plastic, on the floor, and had a hole in it-It was practically BEGGING to be pooped in, really!

So my obvious response was to simply laugh out loud-I mean, if it was my kid, I would have to be the questioning, scolding, responsible one, but since I’m the cool aunt (yes, self proclaimed) I could react the exact way I wanted to-then call HIS mom to deal with the poop! I know, not very sisterly, but lets face it, I shovel enough of my own kids’ poop (both literally and figuratively) it was someone else's turn and the selfish part of me was happy to see I’m not the only one!!

As a mom, I often feel like I must be the only mom ever forced to deal with the yuckiness that comes along with little kids-as if mine are just exceptionally more gross than others!   This was a good reminder that we ALL have to deal with this kind of stuff! We’re all in it together, so if you make it through the day without the inevitable “poop storm”, be thankful and then think of me, b/c if it’s not your day, that probably means it’s mine!

It takes more than a village, It takes a Savior!

I’m constantly hearing, “it takes a village to raise a child”.  Now with my own kids, I appreciate help, but I feel like it is mine (and my husband’s) responsibility to be the main influences in our children’s lives while they are growing up.  There is nothing wrong with receiving help from others-we LOVE when a friend or family member invests time in building up our kids. We really appreciate the teachers at our daughter’s school, too, but someday I will be standing before God answering for how I raised my children and I don’t want Him to say that I missed out because I let the “village” raise them for me!

It was a cold day, so the kids and I decided to take a trip to the mall.  We were playing a fun game where my 4 year old lead the way through the winding aisles.   It was a great outing-until an unsuspecting store worker came by with the pallet of death! Ok, maybe a little bit of an overstatement, but with the reaction and winning “mommy moment” that follows, I wanted to DIE!

We’re weaving through the aisles and I see a large pallet of merchandise coming our way.  I quickly tell my 4 year old to move-somehow her hearing is magically gone-amazing how if you whisper the words “ice cream” from 3 rooms away they hear you, but when you’re standing next to them, nothing.  One more time I told her to move, again, nothing.  So, I gently grabbed her arm and guided her out of the way. 

That’s when it happened-she yelled “No, Mommy!” and full-on SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE! What?! Only really bad moms get slapped in the face! Surely, this is not happening to me AND in a very public place…

Immediately a thought popped into my head (from the Holy Spirit I’m sure, b/c in moments I’m at my worst my human nature says, “Hey, Kim, just walk away and pretend they are someone else’s kids until they stop crying”-don’t judge, I know you’ve thought that about your kids at some point too!)

The thought was this: “You don’t need a village, you need a savior!” I’ve been a Christian for a long time-I don’t need to say the prayer of salvation again in  the middle of this, so what is this to mean? Quite simply it means that I need God to inform my parenting-I need to pause, and ask for HIS help.  I have found that means ignoring my human desire to be angry, frustrated, or embarrassed and IMMEDIATELY start praying over my children.  I pray they will hear the words and see the actions they need FROM GOD through me in that moment.  

I literally stop in the middle of wherever I am and begin to pray-not necessarily out loud, although you can! And every time it puts my human nature in check, puts God in charge, and gives me a moment to realize this too will pass!

In that moment, I prayed for 5 seconds while putting my daughter back into the stroller.  After just that quick prayer, my ego (which was damaged and seeking some type of human response to save face) was back in check.   I explained her behavior was unacceptable and we were leaving immediately.  She then began to cry, contort herself in the stroller, and scream “I HATE you, Mommy” all the way out of the store. With my Spirit-led calm, I walked her out to the car without feeling frustrated or even embarrassed.

 At home she was finally calm enough for a real conversation, God was able to speak through me to my daughter as I explained the severity of hitting mommy and dispensed the appropriate punishment.

As you find yourself in those inevitable moments of what I call Parenting Ego Checks, remember, it’s not the village you need, we are all fallen, weak, and human.  What you really need is your Savior!

I encourage you to memorize this verse so in those moments, the Spirit will lead you to prayer, rather than your human response.

Psalm 50:15

“Then call on me when you are in trouble, and I will rescue you, and you will give me glory."

Also, don’t forget to give God the glory, no matter what the situation!

Just Be a Kid Today!

Me (age 5) With my family :)

Many of you probably had “that toy” when you were little, you know, the one that was just more special that the others-your unrivaled favorite.  I enjoyed playing house with all my dolls, but none more than my Cabbage Patch Boy, Andy.  I saved up all of my money to buy him myself.  I even sent in his “official” adoption forms so I would get a certificate saying I was Andy’s “real” mom.

 Last year my parents drove to my house and brought a large box full of my childhood toys and in that box was my precious Andy with all of his clothes and his “official” adoption certificate.  Upon the sight of all these things, memories flooded my mind.  I truly loved Andy-he was my son.  I couldn’t wait to finish school so I could go home to him and we could play together.  I spent as much time as I could holding him, loving him, and enjoying him.  It sounds silly to say now, but the innocence of my childhood playing with Andy was so wonderful.

Those days of playing, however, have long past, and now life is full of all those adult things to do.  It seems like in today’s world there’s an expectation to be “Super Mom”.  We should be able to do all things and still look cute, maintain our sanity, and never grow tired.  I often find myself checking in on Facebook or Pintrest and instantly feeling inferior-It seems like all of my friends have perfect kids, clean houses, matching outfits, and gorgeous hair and make-up when my biggest accomplishment of the day is changing from one set of pajamas to another.

I’m not upset with others for doing well, I’m blaming myself for looking at it incorrectly.  God gave me my life-a life that I’m thankful for and love very much! Everyone has tough days and that’s OK-the trick is not letting Satan take those tough days and use them to make you feel that you’re anything less than God’s amazing creation.  No, I’m not perfect, but b/c I have Jesus, I don’t need to be!  All I need to do is ask and God will be my strength, my patience, and my encouragement.  

I get caught up in the “to-do” lists, the piles of laundry, the demands of the world.  I forget what it means to stop and completely focus on the beauty of my own children’s childhoods.  I often hear about how quickly it all passes.  Before I know it my children won’t be kids anymore and I will be longing for those sweet snuggles, requests that I play, and silly laughs at the little things.  I forget that they are God’s creation too-and I need to spend the time He’s given me with them, not with piles of dirty dishes!

So today, I encourage you, Mommies, let the lists go-stop worrying about the chores, the errands, and the stresses of adult life.  Ask God to be your strength, patience, and encouragement.  Take time to stop and enjoy childhood again with your own kids!

One thing that helps me do this is praying scripture for myself and my kids-here is my prayer for today-I encourage you to try this too! There is nothing more powerful than speaking God’s promises over your life and your family to remind you about what’s really important today!

This verse is a prayer/praise to God from the people of Israel-As Christians we are now God’s chosen people, so this is amazingly powerful when you plug in your own name, family, or children and pray this aloud back to God!

1 Kings 8:57-60
⁵⁷May the LORD our God be with NATALIE as he was with our fathers; may he never leave HER nor forsake HER. ⁵⁸May he turn NATALIE’S heart to him, to walk in all his ways and to keep the commands, decrees and regulations he gave HER fathers. ⁵⁹And may these words of mine, which I have prayed before the LORD, be near to the LORD our God day and night, that he may uphold the cause of ME, his servant and the cause of NATALIE according to each day's need, ⁶⁰so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the LORD is God and that there is no other.

Just 2, Huh?!

Our family moves around a lot.  With all of that moving comes meeting new people.  That inevitably leads to the obligatory “Getting to know you” small talk.  I actually love to meet new friends and love talking to people (those of you who know me well, know what I’m sayin here!) Anyway, as we’ve encountered some of these new people, I’ve found myself overwhelmingly annoyed by their response to my statement about how many kids I have. 

Many of you now must be thinking I’m one of you amazing women who have like 6 kids AND her sanity-while I immensely respect you mommies of multitudes, I am not one.  So now you must really be wondering what I’m talking about.

Well, in the past few years our family has expanded from 1 child to 2 children and apparently having 2 kids is just no big deal.  I can’t tell you how many times in our meeting new people, during the “getting to know you” small talk I’ve said, “We have 2 girls” and received the response-“Oh, only 2?” followed up with, what I consider MUCH more than “getting to know you” small talk,  “So are you having more?” As if 2 just isn’t impressive enough to have mentioned or we are expected to have more, b/c 2 is just not enough to keep busy (yet somehow they managed to keep me mighty busy!)

Now, let’s be clear, I have often jokingly asked my sisters, my cousins, and even my friends, “So when are you trying for another munchkin?” I am not offended so much by the question itself, but rather the implication it carries in the context above.   Perhaps what is even worse is that this response has been from people who also have kids.  I was always under the impression that 2 kids was just “the norm” (not that that has anything to do with why we have 2), but apparently the larger family is on the rise with our generation.  I fully support the idea of larger families, but more importantly I embrace the idea of each family making a God-lead decision about what’s right for them without judgment (especially from other Christians!)

As a military wife I’m expected to have it all together, handle anything from a deployment to moving 1,000 miles with a child, while pregnant over the Christmas holiday (yes, we’ve done that-I don’t recommend it!).  So in that context, quite obviously 2 kids is easier than say 3-4.   That being said, it’s not a competition, point system, or battle to see who is more woman amongst us b/c they have the biggest entourage (that’s what I call my little ones for fun when they are in tow!)

But 2 kids is a lot-Shoot, 1 kid is a lot! Having a child changes everything and having 2 kids changes it again, and 3 again, and so-on.  My fellow mommies know that kids can be all-consuming.  They require tons of  love and attention.  Even on the good days, they still change the way you do everything-not in a bad way, but life is VASTLY different once you have children.  What I guess is most annoying to me is the implication that 2 kids is just easy, so hey why not just have another-as if children are just something you collect b/c you have extra rooms in your house-you have an empty bedroom, so why not head over to Best Buy and pick another kid to fill the space. 

For my family having a child is treated like the BIG deal that it is! Yes, it is God who makes the final decision, but every family should be prayer about God's path for them, especially when it comes to having kids! And for all of those people who think 2 kids is no big deal, I would invite them to come and visit at about 3pm when the oldest (who NEVER naps) is throwing toys at the youngest (SHOULD be napping, but won't fall asleep) while at the same time the dishes need washing, the laundry is piling up, and dinner is waiting to be prepared and that’s not even counting the errands! 

I’m not saying that 2 kids is impossible or even difficult all the time-and to those of you with many more, just laugh at my naivety, but for our family, God said 2 is enough. We love our children and are more than content with that. I have also heard from friends with many children that people often say rude things about the fact that they have 4 or 5 kids, which is just wrong! Please don’t condescend b/c God called your family to something different.

We need to be encouraging one another and lifting our sisters in Christ up b/c whether you’re a mom of 1 sweet soul or many more sweet souls, we all have the same calling from God-to be Godly mothers to whatever children He gives us and point them to Him.  No matter how many kids you have that is a very challenging, exciting, and life changing undertaking for anyone!

“Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Annie vs. Evil Mommy: The Broccoli Standoff

 

EVIL, Pure evil! It brings with it screaming, crying, and complete chaos for my 2 year old.

So far we’ve had a pretty easy road.  My old daugher (now 4 years old) never really made us suffer through the infamous “Terrible Twos”.  She's had fits here and there and is excessively stubborn, but is also people pleaser, so a tantrum in the middle of a grocery store would have been too embarrassing for her.  I didn’t truly appreciate this until my sweet, wild child Annie came along!

My 2 year old Annie is quite a character. She’s never met a stranger, you never have to wonder what she’s thinking, and she is the most hilarious person she’s ever met.  That being said, she’s also 2, VERY 2!

She decides what she wants and that’s what she’s going to get-at least that’s how her plan goes-then Evil Mommy gets in the way of toddler glory, poor Annie!

On this particular day, Evil Mommy brought out the kryptonite of Annie-Broccoli! She didn’t flinch at first, she finished everything else on the plate, then decided she was done.  She quietly climbed out of her chair, attempting to draw as little attention to herself as possible and then silently (and literally) tip-toed away from the table.  Solid plan and execution on her part: the only problem, Evil broccoli-serving Mommy saw the whole thing.

As with any good vs. evil plot, Evil Mommy soon had captured her and placed her back in the precarious position at the table, with broccoli back in her path.  She didn’t know what to do next, after all, her getaway was flawless and it didn’t even come close to tricking her evil adversary.  Then she came up with plan B-she grabbed the plate of broccoli and threw it as hard as she could right at Evil Mommy, then as quickly as possible made her escape.  BUT she was no match for Evil Mommy’s speed-before she knew it she was back in that same seat in a face-off once again with that horrible vegetable. 

What’s a toddler to do?! Well, in this case, she activated her “Chaos Scream”-she yelled, cried, and squirmed, but to no avail. Evil Mommy didn’t even flinch.  After 2 hours, Annie admitted defeat, and fell asleep, still at the table facing off with the Kryptonite Broccoli. 

When she awoke, the entrancing powers of Evil Mommy were too strong to defeat, so she peacefully ate the broccoli-come to find out, it was not kryptonite at all.  It was the key to her release.  As soon as she swallowed, Evil Mommy disappeared, Good Mommy came, helped her out of her chair, and she was released to play another day. 

We’re never sure when the next battle between Annie and Evil Mommy will happen-it could be any moment, but Annie is always ready, unfortunately for her, so is Evil Mommy!

Share with me your stories/tricks/tips on getting your toddlers/kids to eat their veggies

What?! Mermaids do NOT go potty in the water!

 Natalie and Annie are OBSESSED with Ariel from “The Little Mermaid” right now. We watch the movie on repeat, know all the songs, have our own mermaid names (I’m Arista!) and every time we go swimming we get to act out various scenes from the movie. 

My parents are here in Tampa visiting from Michigan, so naturally, they want to go to the beach.  I personally HATE the beach-I know, I’m crazy, or more accurately, I burn pretty much EVERY time I’m outside (yes, even with SPF 80!) and there are certain parts of the human body that weren’t designed for sand, yet, every time I go to the beach those seem to be the first parts the sand gets lodged in! Anyway, despite my feelings about the beach, I loaded everyone in the car and headed for the nearest waterfront oasis. 

The weather was perfect a perfect 85 and sunny.  We unloaded our stuff and took off for some fun in the water.  The girls were having a great time, Natalie was performing some musical selections, pretending to be Ariel-life was good.

About 5 minutes later Natalie came running out of the water to explain that she had to go potty.  Since it’s the off season right now, the bathrooms are under construction.  This leaves one obvious, but not ideal option-go in the water. 

Before I suggested this, I verified she only had to pee (can you imagine me telling her to go potty in the water otherwise-YIKES!).  Then I said to her, “Well, you can just go potty in the water”. 

Natalie is my princess: prim, proper, and prissy.  So as I was explaining the idea of going potty in the water to her, she was cringing in disbelief, and utter disgust.  She then says to me, “Um, No, Mommy, that is SO gross-we do NOT pee in the water!” 

I totally understand the mixed message I’m sending here, but she’s been potty trained for a while, and lets be honest, you got to do what you got to do.  Then I have a moment of what I thought was a moment of mothering genius.  I tell Natalie, “Well, you know Ariel pees in the water!” (Yes, now that I’m saying it out loud, it doesn’t sound as awesome as it did in my head!) 

 She replies, “No, mermaids do NOT pee in the water, they are beautiful and perfect and peeing in the water is gross, and they don’t do gross things, so they can’t pee in the water!” I have to say, for a 4 year old, the logic is quite sound! I realize there is no convincing her that peeing in the water would ever be an option, so I tell her just to hold it. 

Unlike some of my previous stories (when she just HAD to go), she says, “Ok!” and goes back to play in the water.   A while later we headed home and as we use the potty, Natalie says, “Mommy, where does Ariel go potty?” I, again, explained that she must go potty in the water, but that just can’t be right.  She has now decided that when we see Ariel at Disney World in a few weeks, she’s going to ask….so to my friend, Ariel, who we will see in a few weeks, I’m sorry, but secretly DYING to hear what the real answer to our potty dilemma could possibly be!

Magically Forgiven

I am teaching Awana tonight, so I thought I'd share my object lesson-I practiced this presentation on my 4 year old and she thought it was super cool too :) It's super easy to do-just check out the directions, verses, and pics! 

This is a visual lesson on Hate/Sin and Forgiveness

You get 4 small, clear containers and one floral vase (the kind that fits one flower)

-In 3 of the containers mix ¼ cup water and with 1 drop of food coloring (1 blue, 1 green, 1 red)

-In the last small container, mix ¼ cup bleach

-Put ½ cup of water into the bottom of the floral base

As you explain each color, pour it into the large floral vase-as you do it will make the water dark and then you explain the forgiveness as you pour the bleach in-it takes about 2 1/2 -3 mins, but when the bleach is done working, the water will be clear again.

Presentation

GREEN: Jealousy

         -Proverbs 14:30-A tranquil heart gives life, but a jealous heart makes bones rot

-Exodus 20:17-You shall not covet/envy/be jealous of anything that is your neighbors

Blue: Anger/Frustration

         -James 1:20-Man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life God desires

         -Ecclesiastes 7:9-Do not be quickly provoked, for anger resides in the foolish

Red: Selfishness

         -Philipians 2:3-Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but rather in humility value others above yourself

Result of all these things is HATE-these are all sins that taint our lives

HOW DO WE FIX this?

CLEAR: Forgiveness

         In your life: Ephesians 4:31-32-Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, fighting and slander along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as Christ forgave you.

From Jesus: 1 John 1:9-If we confess our sin He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness

All you have to do is believe that Jesus’ forgiveness is enough-we are all sinners, we have all done things wrong, but all we have to do is believe that Jesus died, and rose from the dead for our sins, and that his forgiveness is the only way to get eternal life.  

LONGEST Trip Ever: Part 3

 Day 3: 

After a refreshing few days staying with an awesome friend in Georgia, we were ready for the final leg of our trip.  The kids once again were NOT ready to be back in the car and say goodbye to their BFFs, but onward and upward.

This day was the WORST-We’d already done 14+ hours in the car and this one was supposed to be the long day-ha, I know, as if the other days we’re already long, this one was scheduled to be the longest so far at just over 8 hours….YIKES!

Once again, I’m lying to myself, believing that surely I’ve got this, blah, blah, blah….

We start out and nothing really major-this time I made it 3 hours and 30 mins before utter chaos, meltdown, car HELL.  So at least we’re improving, right?! No, actually what the delay in meltdown was, they were building it up, joining forces to make this the most grand break down we’d seen to date. 

We’re at the 3 hour mark and the kids start asking for lunch, and I behold the most miraculous sign one can see on a road trip-CHICK-FIL-A next exit! Our most favorite fast food place-when I save favorite I mean, we eat there so regularly, my children know the logo, the cows, and menu! I use a meal at Chick-fil-a for major bribes, rewards, and boo-boo cure!

 So we’re in the car, see the sign and hallelujahs rang out, the heavens opened up and at that moment life was complete.  Okay, perhaps a bit of an overstatement, but you fellow mommies will agree that sometimes you have to take the little wins b/c that may be the only win you have all day! We stop at Chick-fil-a, eat lunch, and play.  It is then time to get back on the road….

The kids begrudgingly get back in the car and that’s when it happened.  We get back on the freeway and pull away from any sign of civilization and together they begin to scream.  As I mentioned in previous days, I just block this out. 

They begin to fight with each other-which, honestly at this point, better them doing that to each other than me (I know, I’m a terrible person, but hey, you mommies can’t say you haven’t felt that way before, at least once!)

Then, the worst thing of all, DEAFENING SILENCE…Those of you with little kids know why this is so dangerous-I look in my rear view mirror and see that my 4 year old has wiggled out of the top part of her car seat and is attempting to change the 2 year old’s diaper-WITH POOP IN IT! She's managed to undo the diaper and is now pulling it out from under her sister's poopy butt. 

I don't even know what the appropriate, motherly scolding response is in that moment-so I just yell, “STOP touching your sister’s poop!” One of those things you never imagine yourself saying, then you have a couple kids and all of a sudden the weirdest, grossest, craziest things start coming out of your mouth. 

“STOP” was the wrong thing to yell b/c then she just drops diaper and now there is poop rolling around on the floor in the backseat of my car.  In my moment of confusion, still traveling 70 mph down the highway, I yell, “Why did you drop that?” Then I get an answer (with a tone that is SOOOO 16 year old attitude) “You said Stop, so I did”…. Well, yet another mommy fail, she’s absolutely right, that IS what I said. Yup, that's it, I once again was throwing up the white flag of surrender and admitting udder (stinky) defeat!

5 LONG, smelly, angry minutes pass until, I find a place to stop and clean up the mess.  As I’m picking up poop off the floor of my car, my sweet little 2 year old looks at me with a huge smile on her face and says, “Thanks, Mommy, that’s stinky”.  I couldn’t agree more, my love!

A while longer in the car, a few more lollipops, movies, and over-the-top bribes and we finally reach Tampa, Florida-also known to me during this trip as the Promised Land!!

Over the course of 3 days alone in the car with my kids, I laughed like I never have before, did things I’ve harshly judged other parents for, and learned that sanity is relative (and fleeting) with little kids.   

I do have to say, I kinda feel like Super Mom just for making it-at least until the next time I have to be trapped in a confined space with those mini-monsters (Appropriate “Mommy translation”: I love my sweet kids, I just don't want to be in the car alone with them for 22+ hours EVER AGAIN!)

The LONGEST Trip Ever: Part 2

 Day 2: 

We spent the weekend with my sister and her family in Viriginia and then were headed out for day 2 in the car-this one was LONG-it was 8-9 hours down to Georgia.  And leaving was particularly hard for my little ones b/c they LOVE their cousins and were sad we weren’t going to see them again for 6 months!

With renewed confidence, I got every sugary snack, bribe, and sticker I could find, stacked it on the passenger seat and was sure, with lessons learned from the previous driving day, I was much more prepared now.  I know, a sad delusion, but when you’re facing that much time in the car with 2 little kids, reality escapes you-it’s about whatever lie you must tell yourself to survive.  They’re toddlers, if they sense weakness, it’s all over-they will have you crying in a corner in 10 minutes.  No, my kids aren’t particularly naughty or wild, but if you have little kids, you know what I’m talking about.  They study us, find our weaknesses, and then wait for the optimum moment to exploit said weakness to reach their ultimate goal: GETTING THEIR WAY!

So, with visions of parenting and driving grandeur, we were once again on our way.  This time we made it about 1 hour before our first dilemma.  We were driving through the mountains and it started to rain-no big deal, I’ve driven in rain plenty of times, but for some reason, my normally cheerful 2 year old, Annie, decided that the rain was scary, awful, and worth screaming about.

 Normally I just power through the useless cry.  You mommies know what I mean, you just tune it out.  It’s a gift we have, but about 15 minutes into this “the rain is going to kill me” scream of terror, she figure out I was ignoring her.  What’s a toddler to do?! Well, this toddler started grabbing everything she could find and throwing it at the back of my head.

 Now, my husband and I are NOT athletic people AT ALL.  In fact, it’s laughable how awesome we look when playing any sport.  BUT for some reason, little Annie is amazingly accurate with her throwing of random objects.  Perhaps we got an athletic one-a skill I am more than willing to encourage, just not at the moment when I driving 70 mph in the rain, on the mountain roads. 

Once again, 1 hour into the trip and I’ve admitted defeat.  There is nowhere to pull over and we’re in the middle of nowhere with no exits, so I the next thing I do is just plain shameful.  I start grabbing her ammunition-the bags of cookies, tiny toddler shoes, stuffed animals, which are now hitting me in the face and accumulating in my lap and begin throwing them back at her.  BUT like I said before, I have no athletic acumen, which means I’m now just creating mass chaos in the backseat with toys, food, and anything else I can find flying in every direction.  Not my proudest mommy moment.

 All of a sudden both of the kids start laughing hysterically and start yelling, “This is so fun, Mommy” “I LOVE this fun throwing game”….. So somehow in my moment of shameful mommy behavior, my kids still managed to have fun. The rain stopped and  after about 3 minutes, they got bored with the game and went back to simply watching their movie. 

I’m not going to win any “Mommy of the year” awards for that, but thankfully the next 7 hours went by great and we made it to Georgia with my sanity relatively intact and my girls still thinking this is part of some super fun vacation.  That’s the great thing about kids-if they want to have fun, they will. I could learn a thing or two from them about a positive attitude and finding fun in the simple, silly, random things in life!

The LONGEST Trip Ever-Part 1

I recently drove 22 hours, 38 minutes, and 56 seconds (over 3 days) in the car SOLO with my 2 kids-2 years old and 4 years old.  I have been trying to figure out how to capture the magic and wonder of this experience on paper, so here goes nothing…..

My husband is the USAF and got picked up for a 6 month job in Tampa, Florida-they wouldn’t pay to move us since it’s only temporary, instead, we are in a fully furnished apartment-I know, sounds rough right?! Well, this is the pay-off for the aforementioned car trip!

Now, how did I end up on this long haul from Maryland to Tampa solo, you may ask. Well, my family had committed to hosting a foreign exchange student from Spain for the summer, but that was before we knew my husband had to be in Florida the first week in July.  So he left and the 3 kids and I stayed in Maryland until mid-August when our student went home. 

After 7 weeks alone with 3 kids I thought I could handle pretty much anything, but NOTHING prepared me for the car trip, NOTHING!

Day 1:

I’m optimistic, and also feeling like I could conquer the world b/c I managed to put the top carrier on the car, pack everything, and get the house ready all on my own.  I didn’t realize my proud victorious attitude would only last the first 40 mins of this 22 hour trip!

I got the kids loaded up, cued up the DVD player in the back seat, set the GPS and off we went.  We made it about 20 miles before I started to realize this may be the biggest mistake of my life. 

We live north of Washington DC-if you have ever driven there, you feel my pain right now, if you haven’t, let me help you get an idea what it’s like.  Imagine locking yourself in a small room with 10 screaming toddlers for 2 hours while trying to write the most important term paper in your life-that's what driving in DC does to your nerves!

So we get to DC, and I expected some traffic, but it was 10am, so I thought I'd planned it pretty well to miss most of the various rush hours-NOT even close! We found lanes of traffic being diverted to the shoulder for construction.  Of course, I’m still feeling like I got this, so I pump up the radio, and prepare to sit for a while, and what should happen next? I hear from the back seat, “Mom, I have to go potty” come out of the mouth of my 4 year old, Natalie.  I am sure she doesn’t have to go, after all, she went right before we left and we’ve only been in the car for about 30 minutes.  I tell her to hold it and turn the radio back up. 

About 5 minutes later (and still in the same place we were before) she yells, “MOOOOOMMMMM, I REALLY HAVE TO GO!” at this point, even if I wanted to take care of this situation, I can’t.  The nearest exit is about 3 miles up and we’ve gone literally about 15 feet in the past 20 minutes-at this rate I could walk to Tampa faster. This time I’m a little more creative in my response, “Well, we could go in the bushes over there if you REALLY REALLY have to, but there’s no nice potty for a long time” She quickly says, “I can hold it” and I am once again feeling triumphant. 

Fast Forward a meager 10 miles in 2 hours, and we’re still just getting outside of DC.  Natalie once again requests to use the bathroom.  It’s been a while, so I figure she probably really does have to go and I’m starting to see the infamous potty squirm, so I look for an exit.  I find one, and hop off the freeway in search of any place with a bathroom. 

I am not super familiar with DC-when we go there to sightsee we usually just take the train and when we do drive, it’s just passing through on the way to see family in Virginia, so I have NO IDEA where we are, but it’s starting to look scary.  Not like, oh, “that store is a Walmart not a Target”, more like, if  “I make eye contact with that dude standing on the corner, I may get shot!” 

So after only 3 hours in the car, we’re lost, my kid has to pee, and we all may die-I believe it was at that moment I fully realized I was in a little over my head.  Yep, 3 hours in the car solo with my kids and I was waving the white flag. 

Funny thing about those situations, nothing magical happens when you admit defeat, there is no fairy godmother who rescues you, no choreographed musical number doesn’t begin to play to lighten the mood, and a kiss from Prince Charming won’t help clean up the pee now in my back seat. 

SO-I call foul on all those fairy tales, musicals, and chick flicks.  I love them as much as the next girl, but geeze, talk about a false sense of reality.  Just when I’m doubting I can do the next 4 days and 19+ hours in the car, my sweet little 2-year-old starts singing “Jesus Loves Me”  When she finishes she says (in broken words that only momma can understand) I WUUUV you, Mommy-Thissss fuuuun Twip! 

I love how in life’s moments of defeats God uses our children to remind us what’s really important.  So, I put on my big girl pants, decided it didn’t matter if the car smelled disgusting, and onward we went.  We made it the next 3 hours with lots of snacks, happy singing, and Elmo!

Victory (well sorta) for me! The only problem: I had to do this AGAIN TOMORROW and the next day AND the day after that…..

Another Yellow Day!

My 4 year old, Natalie, is going to preschool for the first time this year. I am so excited for her! She is growing, thriving, and really loves school (let’s hope she still feels this way come middle school, right?!) Every day the teacher puts a smiley face on the calendar in each student’s folder.  At the end of the week, if they have all 5 days of green smiley faces they get to choose from the treasure box.  It’s nothing big, just small toys, stickers, etc.  but it’s the idea that they were great all week and get rewarded.  Natalie has been in school for 7 weeks now and has NEVER had a yellow day….Until yesterday!

I got there to pick her up and when she came out to greet me she had a look of defeat on her face-when I asked her what was wrong she explained that she had a “yellow” day because she didn’t listen to her teacher well enough.  I tried not to smile-afterall, selfishly, as a mom, it’s secretly gratifying to know that your kids defy other people too, it’s not just me. I then explained that if she got another “yellow” day she would have a punishment at home in addition to losing the treasure box privilege at school.  She tells me she’s so sorry and so on. 

Then I went to pick her up today. She immediately says, “I had another yellow day”….Really?! Another one?!

She explained that her friend was being mean and told her (I’m quoting Natalie directly here) “She said my outfit wasn’t fabulous, but it is fabulous b/c I’m fabulous, she told me I was ugly too, so I just hit her b/c she was lying b/c I am fabulous, I am fabulous!". My first instinct was to laugh-not b/c I think it’s funny she hit her friend, but b/c she used fabulous about a million times in that sentence and she thought it was justified b/c She IS fabulous-it’s a fact, Duh!

I explained that she can’t hit people just b/c they are being mean, you know the whole good mommy thing, no hitting, blah, blah, blah.  And then I let her know that since she got another yellow day she would have consequences at home-which would be she would go to bed without a bedtime story tonight.  Bedtime came and she did OK without a story, but when we were saying prayers she asked that God would help her friend see that she is indeed fabulous like he made her.

As a mom, I’m upset she hit her friend, that’s not ever the right response.  As a woman, I’m even more sad that at 4 years old girls are telling each other they are ugly-I know that kids will be kids and my daughters will have to learn to keep out the bad or disregard the “mean girls” that are always going to be there, but that doesn’t make it OK.

 In our world today how do we raise our children to be kind, but truthful; sensitive, but sensible; strong, but sympathetic?

 I think the answer is that we pray a lot, we punish the wrong, and we make sure our children know their value is not based on what others tell them they believe is true, but rather it is based on what God says is true.   He made each one of us fabulous.  She may not be as fabulous as someone else in the world’s eyes, but according to God, she is fabulous and she should always stand up for herself in that way (just not by hitting!) 

So here we go, into the world of outside influences and Natalie not being with me all day every day.  I’m excited about this new phase in parenting. I know that I’m going to grow as a person, and I’m not always going to have the right answer, or an answer at all, but I know that if I trust God, He will give me the words that my sweet Natalie needs to pick her up and keep her strong when this world is knocking her down.

Mr. Truffle's victory walk

I have to preface this story with the fact that I'm not a morning person.  When I say that, I don't mean I'm simply overly cranky in the morning, or just don't like getting up, I mean there is something wrong with my brain-I just can't function before 9am-we like to call it being "Morningly Challenged".  If you need someone to be on their A game at midnight, I'm you're girl, if you want someone to teach that 7am class, you better look for someone else b/c at 7am I can't even spell my own name!

So, knowing that I'm "morningly challenged" My husband takes Natalie to school most days, but Tuesdays are my turn.  Well, today is Tuesday, so that means I have to be up and functioning with both kiddos in the car and ready to go by 7:30am! Not a major feat for most of you, but quite a challenge for me.  Luckily my sweet Natalie is always up, dressed, and ready to go to school before our alarm even sounds b/c she just loves school (and is blessed to be a morning person like her daddy!).

I get up, put on whatever clothes I can find and go to wake up Annie (my 2 year old) she's like me-mornings are not her friend and she LOVES her sleep! I didn't even bother to get her dressed or shoes before we all shuffled out the door.

We were doing OK on time-we were going to make it just fine, but then we hit traffic, of course! I found a way around, but now we weren't OK on time, we were going to be late.  I HATE being late! Natalie hates being late too, so she's starting to worry b/c we've been in the car too long and she doesn't want to miss anything.

We pull into the parking lot with literally 3 minutes to spare and I rush to get the kids out of the car.  Annie is still not really awake, but Natalie is rushing and ready to go.  I punch in the numeric code to open the front gate of the school and notice that Mr. Truffles, the school's goat, is there to greet us.  That's not uncommon-he's a sweet little white goat with a fun beard that is so great with the kids. I guess now would be a good time to mention she goes to a school that doubles as a ranch, so the kids get to ride horses, pet, and feed all kinds of animals (including Mr. Truffles the resident goat).

We say good morning to Mr. Truffles and the normally subdued goat darts out the front gate that I am holding open for Natalie to walk through.  I immediately start yelling, "Mr. Truffles, come back here" He is now in a full on sprint running through the parking lot.  I too am now in a full on sprint (with my pajama clad bare footed 2 year old on my hip) trying to catch this crazy old man goat before he makes it to the road.  Natalie is also hot on my heels yelling, "Mr. Truffles, come back, I love you, don't go away". 

I catch him just in time for the entire 4 year old preschool class to come out and see what the commotion is all about.  I grab Mr. Truffles and walk him back to the gate (yes, with my 2 year old still on my hip).  It was a glorious moment-kids cheering and clapping at Mr. Truffles triumphant return-and I would have enjoyed the victory if I hadn't been totally embarrassed by the fact that every person who works at my daughter's school was now watching as I took this walk of shame to return the wayward goat I allowed to escape.  What's worse,  according to the school's director, Mr. Trufles has NEVER even attempted to escape for anyone in the 8 years they've had him at the school-EVER, never, Really, Mr. Truffles, on my drop off day, you get bold?!

I only get to drop my daughter off at school 2 days week, so I just had to make sure I made it count, yea, let's go with that story and all be glad that Mr. Truffles is now back in the loving arms of his 30  preschoolers :)

Back to the Crazy!!

So, I have been out of the game for a while-

Imagine that-having 2 small kids, moving to a new place for 6 months, and hosting a foreign exchange student kept me busy, but now I'm back and here to share with you my various mommy-ing adventures, triumphs, failures, and just plain crazy moments.  Maybe together we can all laugh, learn about ourselves and somehow make it through this crazy journey that is Motherhood!!

OK, now that I'm back, I should catch you up! We are currently living in a temporary apt in Tampa, Florida b/c the military has my husband working down here for a while, but not long enough for us to actually move for real-that means we left our house, friends, and dogs in Maryland, but only for a short time (about 6 months). 

Now, enough "business" here is a funny story from my summer.  A little background: My family hosted a 13 year old girl from Spain for 8 weeks this summer. She lived with us and we took her to do all kinds of cool stuff in our area. 

We got up and got ourselves ready to go swimming at a friend's house.  Laura (our foreign exchange student) had her swim bag and since she's 13, I figured, she's got this, I mean her parents did send her here all summer, surely she is capable of packing her own swim bag, right?! Well, that is partially true...We got there and I changed my little ones (2 and 4) into their suits, and got myself ready to have a cool dip. 

We get poolside and I look over at my friend's 11 year old son who looks like he's just seen a ghost-he's mortified, curious, elated, and ashamed all in the same look-those of you with teen/pre-teen boys know the look I'm talking about! I turn around to see what he's looking at behind me-it's Laura in the smallest string bikini I've ever seen in my life.

I'm no prude, but at that moment I'm tempted to get a band-aid from my purse b/c I seriously believe it would cover more than what she's wearing.  Given she's been at our house for all of 3 days, I'm not really sure what to do about this-afterall, my largest parenting dilemma to date is my four-year-old hitting her little sister-I haven't gotten to the "My Teenager is dressing like a stripper in public" chapter of my mommy-ing (and now I know I am going to absolutely HATE that stage!)

Anyway, I pull her aside and ask if her parents know she has this swimsuit.  She looks at me like I'm an alien, which is fine b/c that's about how I'm looking at her now too! She answers, "Yea, my dad made me buy a top for this suit since in the United States you don't go topless like I usually do in Spain"........I was speechless before, but SERIOUSLY?! What do you say to that?!

I know that the days when my own daughters will want THAT swimsuit will come all to soon, and Laura is a sweet girl from a different culture with no idea what she was doing to our innocent little American preteen boys!

After that compelling response, I just told her to get in the pool-admitting defeat, but as time went on we were able to talk about modesty, why it's important, and how us American's are just not open about sex, etc.  I learned a lot from Laura, not just about cultural differences, but about how I feel about modesty too.  Let's just say, I am hoping my girls will be the ones at the pool who agree to wear the turtleneck, but I'm guessing I won't be that lucky!

It's enough to make this momma crazy!