Being Still....Day 4

(what the "Real" Disney Sleeping Beauty looks like)

Have you ever been to one of those ketchy tourist shops? You know, the huge ones that have everything from lighters to stuffed animals, all with some kind of character or name on them.  Most of the stuff in those shops is pretty expensive and when you really start looking at it, you can tell it's not the real deal.

We were visiting Orlando and happened upon one of those places.  We went in and started looking around.  My girls were so impressed with the scale of the place, but as they began to look at the toys, they started to notice something: none of them were "Real Disney" toys.  We even found a Sleeping Beauty doll who had a weird purple dress and make up painted on her face that looked like the Joker from Batman.

When my 5 year old saw these things, she said, "Wow! That has a Disney tag, but that's not the REAL Sleeping Beauty".....

Today I got up with all intentions of great success.  I did my prayer time early, then got everything else done for the day.  Sounds like I'm totally rocking it right?! Well, not exactly, you see, when I say I did my prayer time early, I mean I read through the 46th Psalm, asked God to give me a good day (in a flippant sort of way), and was done in literally about 3 minutes.  I patted myself on the back and was off to other things.

There's not anything wrong with only taking 3 minutes, if that's all I really had, but this afternoon, I am sitting around on my computer doing lots of nothing...Checking Facebook, answering emails (none of which are that important), and trying to feel good about the fact that I "got God out of the way this morning, so now this is ME time".

Yea, I know it sounds just as bad when I type it as it does in my head.  So, I am sitting here on the computer, feeling SUPER convicted as I scroll through my newsfeed and see this verse:

“You, God, are my God, earnestly I seek you; I thirst for you, my whole being longs for you, in a dry and parched land where there is no water” (Psalm 63:1).

 I became instantly reminded that it's not about me just praying the Psalms and being done. It's not about how much time I do or don't spend saying that Psalm.  It is about EARNESTLY seeking God.  I need to be sincere about my prayer to God and my intentions to truly Be Still in his presence.  Some days that may mean only 3 quick minutes, and God knows that.  What He wants from me is not a whole hour of time, but a whole heart of sincerity.

So, in day 4, my heart is that fake purple Sleeping Beauty doll with the bad make up-I have God's stamp on me, but I'm not giving Him the "Real thing".

And now to practice what I preach, stop writing the blog, and go spend some time Being Still in God's presence with a whole heart of sincerity, being Real with Him.

Here's the 46th Psalm, be REAL with Him today.  If it's 3 minutes or 30 minutes, give Him your sincerity, the God of the Universe deserves that and so much more!

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

30 days of Being Still....Day 3

My husband is a big nerd.  He loves all things electronics, can name pretty much every super hero (and tell you their alter-ego and origin story), and can kick my butt at Super Mario Bros.   I am greatly amused by his love for all of those things.  It makes me so happy to see his face light up when he teaches to our girls about all of these nerdy things.

Part of their "Superhero Indoctrination" is in our house every night before bed (after Pjs, teeth brushing, and story time) he and girls sit on our big chair and watch an episode of Batman together (my presence is not required, or even noticed, really, which is just fine with me, but usually I stay b/c let's face it, Batman is pretty cool:)) They love this family time and can't get enough of "Batman time".

Last night, we were running late with homework, Awana verses, dinner, and the bedtime routine.  By 7:45pm, I was done and ready to nix the whole "Batman time".  Earlier in the day, I didn't have time to "Be Still" with God  (very diplomatic way of saying, it wasn't a priority, so I kept pushing it back until here we are, the end of the day).

B/c I skipped that time, I was not feeling very full of patience.  Right as I was about to lose it and cancel "Batman time" for the night, I looked over and saw my Bible and prayer journal sitting on the coffee table.  That was an instant reminder that I had completely forgotten about God for the day.

I really started feeling convicted when I realized that I actually spend more time with Batman every day on a consistent basis than I do with God....I mean, Batman's a great superhero, but he can't even be compared to the Lord of the Universe.

So 3 days in, I have already stumbled and completely failed at "Being Still".  I got so busy with other stuff, most of which doesn't really matter (sorry, Batman, it's the truth), that I didn't even stop to realize the reason I was cranky was b/c I was doing this all from MY strength and power, not from God's.

Here's what God showed me as I chose to forego "Batman time" and do my devotions and prayer with God: Spending time with Him won't ever become an important habit if I don't acknowledge I need Him.

In looking at the 46th Psalm; if I don't recognize that HE is my refuge and strength, then I simply wander aimlessly until I get tired and give up b/c on my own, it's not happening.

Another thing God showed me, was that I don't need to be guilty that I didn't meet with Him earlier in the day.  What I need to be is thankful for His never-ending, perfect grace.  I am not going to let the enemy use this guilt to keep me from being still.

So what, I failed only 3 days in, but part of "Being Still" means that I ask for God's forgiveness, and remain still in His grace, love, and presence.  But, thank God, There is always tomorrow!

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

30 Days of Being Still....Day 2

Yesterday was the first day in a long time that I had any time to myself.  My youngest was in preschool and none of my normal obligations were scheduled.  So, with 2 1/2 hours solo, a trashed house, and that pesky "To Do" List calling my name, I decided to first spend time with God.  I spent the ENTIRE 2 1/2 hours Annie was gone reading the 46th Psalm, praying, and then blogging.  That was NOT my intention at all-in fact, when it was time to pick her up, I was feeling a bit stressed b/c I spent all morning "Being Still".....

After picking her up, my husband called and asked if we could go to lunch together.  This is not something that happens often, and I LOVE any excuse to spend time with him (huge extra bonus:seeing my man in his uniform), so off I went.  Annie and I got to spend an 1 1/2 hours at lunch enjoying his company.  

After lunch, we got home and I recalled why I was feeling slightly stressed out before.  There were 3 huge piles of laundry to be folded and put away, the kitchen was trashed, the craft room, kid's bedroom, my bathroom were all begging to be cleaned, Annie had homework, and dinner was still not even thought of.  

So, now I was beginning to regret "wasting" the entire morning on the whole "Being Still" endeavor.  Yup, I actually thought that: My morning was "wasted" on being still with God, talk about a lie from the Devil in the form of socks everywhere, dirty counters, and messy dishes.  

The second I started to feel that pang of mommy/housewife guilt, I decided to just start doing what I could.  The Holy Spirit made my afternoon more productive than any I've had in a long time.  I finished all the chores in only 45 minutes and still had time for dinner prep.  

That's when the "Loaves and Fishes" story popped into my head.  You know the one:

Matthew 14:13-21New International Version (NIV)

Jesus Feeds the Five Thousand

13 When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. 14 When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick.

15 As evening approached, the disciples came to him and said, “This is a remote place, and it’s already getting late. Send the crowds away, so they can go to the villages and buy themselves some food.”

16 Jesus replied, “They do not need to go away. You give them something to eat.”

17 “We have here only five loaves of bread and two fish,” they answered.

18 “Bring them here to me,” he said. 19 And he directed the people to sit down on the grass. Taking the five loaves and the two fish and looking up to heaven, he gave thanks and broke the loaves. Then he gave them to the disciples, and the disciples gave them to the people. 20 They all ate and were satisfied, and the disciples picked up twelve basketfuls of broken pieces that were left over. 21 The number of those who ate was about five thousand men, besides women and children.

So, He did that for my with my time b/c I gave Him my morning.  I know this won't always be the case, and just b/c I choose to be still doesn't mean I will always have time to finish everything, but I know this is God's encouragement to me to keep "Being Still".  The best part? By the end of the day, I felt refreshed and glad b/c I wasn't doing this on my own.  He is with me.

Here is the 46th Psalm again.  It's my prayer every day for 30 days! I am "Being Still and Knowing that He is God".....I am also working on memorizing it over the next 30 days! 

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

30 days of Being Still....Day 1

I LOVE lists! I make a list for everything, and find the greatest satisfaction when I get to cross off each item.  Call me crazy, but seriously, finishing a "To Do" list gets this girl excited.

Despite my love of a good list,  I am starting to see that those "To Do" lists are more busy-ness than constructive business. Lists in and of themselves aren't bad, I mean, if I go to the grocery store without a list (and 2 kids) I come home with half of what I actually need in twice the time, However, in my pursuit to follow God's recent command on my life to "Be Still and Know that I am God", I am starting to rethink the incessant list making; here's why:

As I was praying today (I am praying all of Psalm 46 every day for 30 days), I kept getting stuck on these lines: "3 Though the waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging 4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fail; God will help her at break of day"

I wasn't sure exactly what to make of that, so I looked it up in the Cambridge Commentary and this is what they came up with:

 In contrast to the tumultuous sea threatening to engulf the solid mountain, is the river, the streams whereof make glad the city of God. The gently flowing river, fertilising all the land over which it is distributed in channels and rivulets, is an emblem of God's Presence, blessing and gladdening His city. Abundant irrigation is indispensable in Palestine. Cp. Psalm 1:3; Isaiah 30:25. The figure reminds us of Isaiah 8:6, where “the waters of Shiloah that go softly” are the emblem of the Divine government, and “the waters of the River great and many” are the emblem of the power of Assyria; and again of Isaiah 33:21, where God is compared to a mighty river encircling and protecting His city.*

I prayed over that explanation, b/c it seemed more geographical than applicably theological when I first read it.  After chewing on it for a while, I realized that I live on that quaking mountain, next to that roaring sea-Kids, Husband, Chores, the list goes on and on. In my life it often seems all of those things are always roaring (complaining and whining) and foaming (kids just always seem to be gross and make endless messes) and surging (demanding parts of me that I am already too exhausted to give).  Or at least, that's how the enemy wants it seem so I stay busy trying to satisfy everyone with no real success....

BUT, here's the amazingly encouraging miracle that comes from this:"4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the most high dwells. 5 God is within her, she will not fail; God will help her at break of day"

I tricked you and just repeated the verses again, but when I REALLY read them, this is what I hear from God: Come and Dwell in the place of calm with the Most High.  Come, enjoy the City of God and when you do that, you will truly KNOW Him, and You WILL NOT FAIL.  YOU WILL NOT FAIL......When I am STILL where the Most High Dwells, He will help me and I WILL NOT FAIL.

What an awesome promise that My God allows me to Be Still in His presence, but even more-He helps me, AND when He does, I will not fail....

So, how does all this come back around to those "To Do" lists? Well, when I make a list, my goal is to busily check everything off so I can feel satisfied.  BUT, that never really happens, the list is NEVER done and so I just end up empty, cranky, and frustrated.  I am an expert at being busy, but not really accomplishing anything.

 I am not being STILL in God's presence and allowing Him to be the one  who makes me glad, helps me out, and guarantees my success.  When I make those lists, I am patting myself on the back for all that I could do.  So, no more lists, simply Stillness in the Presence of the Most High God who will fill me with gladness, help me, and not allow me to fail.

Here again, is the 46th Psalm, I am praying this everyday for the next 29 days, asking God to show me how to simply "Be Still and Know that I am God"

I have also decided I am going to memorize the whole thing.  I used to do this a lot when I was younger and I find that God speaks to me most clearly when I'm working to memorize His letter to me!

PSALM 46 (NIV)

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 

 

2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 

 

3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. "Selah" 

 

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 

 

5 God is within her, she will not fall;God will help her at break of day. 

 

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 

 

7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Selah" 

 

8 Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 

 

9He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. 

 

10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." 

 

11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Selah"

*Link for the Cambridge Commentary I referenced above: http://biblehub.com/commentaries/psalms/46-4.htm

Be Still And KNOW that I am God....

Psalm 46:10a "Be Still and Know that I am God"

October 2013: We were living in Tampa and were getting ready to go back to Baltimore (for 1 year)

October 2014: We were living in Baltimore and getting ready to move to Illinois

October 2015: We are living in Illinois, but my heart is ready to move on.....

For the past few years, we've been living in a state of constant transition and change.  While most would be bothered by that, for me it became a way of living with one foot always out the door.  It became easy to justify not serving at church, not making an effort to really get to know people, and not truly investing in those around me.

BUT now? Well, we're not going to be moving again for the next 3 years (for you non-military folks that doesn't sound like long, but for us, 3 years can seem like a lifetime!).  Since we moved to Illinois in January, I've been busy-settling a household, finding a church, getting kids comfortable in school, but now that all of those "settling in" tasks are done, yet I find myself oddly unsettled.

So what's a girl to do? Well, I started buzzing around, worrying about what I am going to do next year when both of my kids are in school, trying to be busy so I don't have to be real.  So I can keep playing the "One foot out the door game" b/c that has become how I live.  I even started praying everyday that God would show me what I should do next....It sounds like a Godly enough prayer, but He hasn't been answering, so I've found myself frustrated by His apparent silence about what comes next....

A friend from our small group encouraged me to come to a women's retreat and despite my "one foot always out the door" attitude, I decided to go, just maybe God would tell me what comes NEXT if I showed Him I am really serious.  The entire drive up there, I just kept thinking that I wasn't sure this was a good idea, I mean I only sorta knew one of these women, and I really don't want to get too close to anyone, b/c let's be honest, I am only half in the door anyway!

After many great sessions on encouragement, I still felt that God hadn't told me anything about what I am supposed to do NEXT......Then we went on a prayer walk and things got super real, super fast.

As we were praying, we each took a leaf (yay for gorgeous fall leaves-my favorite thing about living someplace with real seasons!).  We were told to write something on the leaf we needed to give to God.

As I sat there, beside the lake with my leaf and pen in hand, God told me I needed to give Him NEXT...BUT here's the problem, I HAVE BEEN ASKING HIM FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO NEXT!? How could He NOT have heard my heart crying out for that?

His answer: BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.....Be still, and know that I AM GOD.....What comes NEXT doesn't matter, what comes NOW is to Be still and Know that I AM God.

You see, I have been too "busy" trying to figure out what God wants me to do NEXT that I haven't had time to really listen to what God wants me to do NOW.  So, I gave Him "NEXT", and now I will Be Still.  I am praying that He will give me contentment and joy Now and Peace for the "Next".

With 2 kiddos, a hubby, and lots of other commitments in my life, I know that being still doesn't mean quitting all of those things, but rather, standing in the middle of those things and taking the time to know that I am exactly where God wants me to be for NOW....AND that no matter what comes NEXT, He's already got that too.

When I got home, I looked up the rest of Psalm 46. I like to get context on the verses that God speaks to me, and it is an exclamation (that's actually what the word "Selah" means) of God being in complete control of NEXT.  I hope it encourages your heart as it did mine! I am going to pray this every day for the next month in my pursuit of God's direction for me to: BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!

PSALM 46 (NIV)

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 

2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 

3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. "Selah" 

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 

5 God is within her, she will not fall;God will help her at break of day. 

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 

7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Selah" 

8 Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 

9He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. 

10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." 

11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Selah"