Be Still And KNOW that I am God....

Psalm 46:10a "Be Still and Know that I am God"

October 2013: We were living in Tampa and were getting ready to go back to Baltimore (for 1 year)

October 2014: We were living in Baltimore and getting ready to move to Illinois

October 2015: We are living in Illinois, but my heart is ready to move on.....

For the past few years, we've been living in a state of constant transition and change.  While most would be bothered by that, for me it became a way of living with one foot always out the door.  It became easy to justify not serving at church, not making an effort to really get to know people, and not truly investing in those around me.

BUT now? Well, we're not going to be moving again for the next 3 years (for you non-military folks that doesn't sound like long, but for us, 3 years can seem like a lifetime!).  Since we moved to Illinois in January, I've been busy-settling a household, finding a church, getting kids comfortable in school, but now that all of those "settling in" tasks are done, yet I find myself oddly unsettled.

So what's a girl to do? Well, I started buzzing around, worrying about what I am going to do next year when both of my kids are in school, trying to be busy so I don't have to be real.  So I can keep playing the "One foot out the door game" b/c that has become how I live.  I even started praying everyday that God would show me what I should do next....It sounds like a Godly enough prayer, but He hasn't been answering, so I've found myself frustrated by His apparent silence about what comes next....

A friend from our small group encouraged me to come to a women's retreat and despite my "one foot always out the door" attitude, I decided to go, just maybe God would tell me what comes NEXT if I showed Him I am really serious.  The entire drive up there, I just kept thinking that I wasn't sure this was a good idea, I mean I only sorta knew one of these women, and I really don't want to get too close to anyone, b/c let's be honest, I am only half in the door anyway!

After many great sessions on encouragement, I still felt that God hadn't told me anything about what I am supposed to do NEXT......Then we went on a prayer walk and things got super real, super fast.

As we were praying, we each took a leaf (yay for gorgeous fall leaves-my favorite thing about living someplace with real seasons!).  We were told to write something on the leaf we needed to give to God.

As I sat there, beside the lake with my leaf and pen in hand, God told me I needed to give Him NEXT...BUT here's the problem, I HAVE BEEN ASKING HIM FOR THE PAST 6 MONTHS TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO NEXT!? How could He NOT have heard my heart crying out for that?

His answer: BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD.....Be still, and know that I AM GOD.....What comes NEXT doesn't matter, what comes NOW is to Be still and Know that I AM God.

You see, I have been too "busy" trying to figure out what God wants me to do NEXT that I haven't had time to really listen to what God wants me to do NOW.  So, I gave Him "NEXT", and now I will Be Still.  I am praying that He will give me contentment and joy Now and Peace for the "Next".

With 2 kiddos, a hubby, and lots of other commitments in my life, I know that being still doesn't mean quitting all of those things, but rather, standing in the middle of those things and taking the time to know that I am exactly where God wants me to be for NOW....AND that no matter what comes NEXT, He's already got that too.

When I got home, I looked up the rest of Psalm 46. I like to get context on the verses that God speaks to me, and it is an exclamation (that's actually what the word "Selah" means) of God being in complete control of NEXT.  I hope it encourages your heart as it did mine! I am going to pray this every day for the next month in my pursuit of God's direction for me to: BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD!

PSALM 46 (NIV)

1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. 

2Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, 

3 though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. "Selah" 

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God, the holy place where the Most High dwells. 

5 God is within her, she will not fall;God will help her at break of day. 

6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall; he lifts his voice, the earth melts. 

7 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Selah" 

8 Come and see the works of the LORD, the desolations he has brought on the earth. 

9He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear, he burns the shields with fire. 

10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." 

11 The LORD Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress. "Selah"