Being Still....Days 23, 24, 25, 26

We have a huge view of a cemetery from our backyard and bedroom windows.  We rented our house site unseen (as a military family, when they move you, you just need an address, so sometimes that means renting on a wing and a prayer).

When we first walked into the house and looked out the back windows, we thought it was a little weird.  I mean, we have a fence and ditch separating our yard from the cemetery, but still, just seemed a like a strange place to put a whole neighborhood.

After a few weeks, I didn't really even notice it anymore, but about 3 weeks after moving in, I looked out the window and saw a large blue tent up in the middle of the cemetery.  I knew what that meant, a graveside service for a funeral.

Immediately God put it on my heart to stop what I was doing and pray for those who would soon be gathering under that tent to say good-bye to someone they cared deeply for.  That has become my habit, every time I look across the cemetery and see a family placing flowers by a grave, or a large group of cars parked outside of the chapel, I pray for them.

I don't know these people; their hurts, desires, and fears are completely unfamiliar to me, but not to God.

As I was being still this week, another one of those blue tents was present in the cemetery and as I began to pray for whoever was mourning a loss, God spoke to me.

You see, it doesn't matter that I don't know who those people are, what matters is that God does.  He sees our hearts.  And for me personally, he reminded me that he always knows my heart.  My biggest fears, my most humiliating failures, my deepest desires.  If I am remaining still in His Presence he will calm those fears, erase those failures, and align my desires with His plan for me.

As you pray today, ask God to hold you in His presence long enough for you to not only be filled in Him, but fulfilled by His purpose for you.  God doesn't want just our words, He wants our hearts, but we have to stop and really be willing to give it in order to really be Still and Know Him!

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Being Still....Day 20, 21, & 22

As I have said before, I am "doer".  Part of being a "doer" is the feeling of accomplishment.  I am not a super accomplished person. I mean I have a college degree, and I've held down a job.  I've got a couple kids I keep alive, and my marriage is pretty awesome, but in the eyes of the world, none of those things are considered "Truly noteworthy accomplishments"......

That used to really bother me-that I am not "more".  When I was home with 2 very small kiddos, I used to say to my husband, "I am better than this, you know-I am better than dirty diapers, dishes, laundry, and breastfeeding."  Not to say those things don't matter, but for me, I didn't see the "worldly value" in something I could easily pay someone else to do for me.  

When we would introduce ourselves to new people and the inevitable "what do you do" question would come up, I would always say, "I teach high school, but for now, I am staying home".  Just so people would know that I am "better" that "just staying home" (despite the fact that for me, staying home is way harder than any job I've ever had).  

In my pursuit of Being still, I have started to understand why I felt that way.  It is because I was failing.  Not at being a mom or wife, but failing at being what God wanted.  I was failing to be content in him.  I was failing at being in his presence.  I was failing at being in the moment he'd called me to.  

I would never dare to say that you should or shouldn't work or stay home or whatever. And I would never dare to call one path harder than the other.  What I am saying is that whatever God calls you to, be content in him.  If you're a "doer" and you're called to stay home, don't get caught up in the lie that you aren't "doer"ing enough. If you work, don't get caught up in the lie that you're not "good enough" mommy b/c your kids aren't with you 24/7.   Stop! Stop those lies from playing over and over in your head.  Seek God's presence and have contentment and peace about what God has called you to do.

We may not always know why God calls us to something.  We may not always know why God wants us in a certain place or job or church, but we don't need to know.  Part of faith is obedience and part of obedience is contentment in doing what you're called to do.  

I am not saying that you will never have days when you wish your life was different.  I am not saying you will never have days where you long for something more, but what I am saying is that you are always enough in God's eyes.  

Your worth is not measured by how much money you bring home, how important you think you are, or how much the world values you.  Your worth is perfectly measured in God's eyes and when you spend time in his presence truly seeking him, there is no way he will ever let you feel like less.  

So, go and do what he has called you to, even if it's hard or confusing.  We don't need all the answers,  b/c we have the God of the Universe.  

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Being Still....Days 17, 18, & 19

So, I know it's a little early, but we put up our Christmas tree this weekend.  My girls just LOVE decorating the tree and sitting by it, looking at all the lights, singing carols.  As I've said, this time last year we were getting ready to move (we had movers at our house 2 days after Christmas).  B/c of that, we put the tree up earlier, so we could have time to really enjoy it, naturally this year, they thought that's just how it works, so here we are, 8 days into November with our Halls fully decked ;)

Anyway, part of decking those halls is Christmas music. We started listening to those classics to help us really get into the spirit of the holiday.  As we were listening to those lovely carols, a line stuck out to me: "Peace on Earth, Goodwill towards men"....I've heard it about a million times, it's not new, but for some reason, in my pursuit of Being Still, this line hit me and wouldn't let me go.

As I was doing my quiet time the following day, I began to pray.  I prayed the 46th Psalm, as I have been doing the past 19 days and that "Peace on Earth" popped back into my head...So I prayed that, then I asked God to show me what that meant.  Clearly his spirit was bringing me back to that particular phrase, but I was baffled as to why.

After praying about it, I began to sing the carol (you know the one, Silent Night)....the song itself is not a Bible verse (it is based on what the Angels tell the shepherds in Luke 2:14), so I'm not calling the entire song God's Divine word by any means, but His words are in there.

As I was singing I realized, Jesus didn't come to give me literal, war ending, world peace.  Although it's well within his power to do that (says so in the Psalm I've been praying for the past 19 days!), the Peace on Earth these angels are referring to is the Peace of knowing that this gift of Jesus has absolved every single human on the planet of their penalty for sin.

I've always known that's what Christmas is about, but never really thought about what that Peace on Earth should look like in my own life.  I just assumed that the Angels were talking about Peace on Earth, like when Jesus comes again (all the cool stuff in Revelation, which if you haven't read, you should!).  B/c that was always my frame of thought, I never took the time to consider that Peace on Earth is possible-maybe not for nations, but for believers it most certainly is.

So, as I am working on Being Still in God's Presence, I am experiencing the Peace that Jesus has given me here on Earth.  B/c I am taking time to really Know God, I am, for the first time in my life, experiencing His peace.  Not all the time, and not perfectly, like I will in Heaven someday, but let me give you some examples:

We are traveling for all the holidays during this season, normally I would have started packing, planning and completely freaking out about every aspect of those upcoming travels.  We leave in less than 10 days and I don't even know where our suitcases are.  Instead of being busy for the sake of busy-ness, I've been spending that time I would normally be making a packing list, packing, unpacking, repacking, making a second list, and, well you get the idea, with God.  And you know what? There is no stress over silly little things like how many pairs of underpants to pack for my 4 year old. That stress isn't there b/c in God's presence every day, He is showing me what really matters and giving me peace, for what everything that doesn't....

Another example: I have been praying about what God wants me to do next (which is what started all of this)...but since I've abandoned that pursuit, he's given me a great opportunity for the NOW.  I was hired to help people book their Disney Vacations (Shameless plug: Let me know if you're planning or thinking of planning a trip, my services are 100% FREE:Kimrod@mickeysmvps.com).  It is the perfect job for Disney-obsessed me.  I did literally nothing to pursue this opportunity, God wrapped it up in a sweet little bow and delivered it right to me....B/C I was being still and gave him "Now".

I want you to know that I am not an expert at any of this "God stuff", In fact, even just 20 days ago, I wasn't spending time with God, I wasn't at peace, and I wasn't being still, but today I am and it's amazing.

 My life isn't any easier or less busy than it was 20 days ago, but God answers me every morning and won't let me fail b/c I am Being Still and Knowing that HE IS GOD.

 That's one awesome thing about God-If you seek him, you will find him and he will lavish his peace over your crazy, hectic, messy, busy life.  He will be there always, and He will NEVER let you fail.

I'm not saying I never mess up or things always work out, but I am saying He is always there with his arms open, full of grace and peace.  He gives me exactly what I need in the very moment I need it, BUT I have to ask.

It may not always look like what I planned, but no plans could ever matter more than being in the presence of the Most High King of the Universe who also calls me His daughter.

I pray that you can find peace in His presence,  it is promised that if you seek him, he will give it to you-right here in the 46th Psalm

Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

Being Still....Days 13, 14, 15, & 16

As I am spending more of my "still time" reading and praying, I don't feel as inclined to try and write.  Mostly b/c at the beginning, writing was a way that I was staying busy for that 30 minutes, and also b/c writing helps me process things.

It's weird, ever since I was little, I've LOVED to write.  When my parents downsized and brought all my goodies from childhood, there was an entire bin full of notebooks and journals I'd written in.  Everything from poems and short stories to lists of the boys I thought were cute ;) (My husband and I got a good laugh reading those).   Some of those notebooks were written as early as 2nd grade, though most of them are barely legible and full of crazily spelled words, they are still full.

So, why does that matter? Well, in thinking about writing my blog and that helping me process God's message to me for today, I started to realize why I love writing so much.  God has given all of us a story.  Our lives are His great story (or at least they should be).  And when I write, and share My Story, I am sharing God.  Which is one of the reasons I am so honest about my shortcomings, failings, and crazy life.

You see, God didn't give my a perfect life, but he did give me a life that's perfect for me.  I struggle, and fail more often than I would like.  But all of that failing just makes me rely on him more AND it makes my story more about him than me-which should be my ultimate goal.

So, in the past few days of contemplating the 46th Psalm, I have been wrestling with my story.  I have now been enjoying God's presence and peace, I have come to appreciate that in Him I cannot fail, but now I am wrestling with my story b/c I wonder what it's supposed to look like when my story is not about me, but him.

I am praying that as I continue to write my story, His glory will shine through more and more, as I grow closer to him.  And my prayer now is that one day (hopefully soon) His story will be so powerful in my life that is all people will see.



Psalm 46

For the director of music. Of the Sons of Korah. According to alamoth.[b] A song.

1 God is our refuge and strength,
    an ever-present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way
    and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam
    and the mountains quake with their surging.[c]

4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
    the holy place where the Most High dwells.
5 God is within her, she will not fall;
    God will help her at break of day.
6 Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall;
    he lifts his voice, the earth melts.

7 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.

8 Come and see what the Lord has done,
    the desolations he has brought on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease
    to the ends of the earth.
He breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
    he burns the shields[d] with fire.
10 He says, “Be still, and know that I am God;
    I will be exalted among the nations,
    I will be exalted in the earth.”

11 The Lord Almighty is with us;
    the God of Jacob is our fortress.