Recipe for perfume/Room Spray using flowers in your own yard!

I am not an extreme DIYer, but this is a super easy and fun thing to do with your kiddos!

I used our Magnolia tree flower petals, but you could do this with just about any flower that has a pleasant scent (or even combine multiple flowers)

List of Supplies:
-Flower petals (picked, removed from stem, rinsed clean)
-1 pot of water
-Large Strainer
-Large Pitcher
-Large bowl
-Spray bottle (you could use a large cleaning type spray bottle or several smaller perfume type bottles depending on what you want to do with the perfume/room spray)

Directions:

STEP 1: pick your favorite flowers and harvest the petals.  Pull the petals off of the stem, rinse them with cold water

STEP 2: Cut the petals into small pieces (about the size of a dime)

STEP 3: Prepare to boil-For every 1 cup of petals, you need 2 cups of water.

STEP 4: Put water and petals into the pot, cover, bowl for 15 minutes (should be a rolling boil)

STEP 5: Pour entire mixture into a large pitcher to cool for 30-45mins (it doesn't have to be room temperature, just cool enough to work with)

STEP 6: Put strainer on top of a large bowl, Pour mixture through the strainer, the petals will stay in the strainer, the liquid in the bowl underneath is the pure, good smelling stuff you want. (We had fun squeezing every little bit of liquid out of the gooey petals, if you have younger kids, this is the most fun part for them-or at least it was for mine!)

STEP 7: Pour  liquid into your spray bottles and use.

SIDE NOTE: I like to put the cooked petal pulp into my garbage disposal-it makes it smell great.

Once you've divide it up, you can use the liquid as perfume or to spray on various surfaces in your house (as a Febreze type alternative).  I have used it on my carpets, linens, and body with no trouble.  If you are using colorful petals (and end up with colorful liquid, make sure you test it on something before you spray it all over the fabric surfaces in your house to make sure it doesn't stain!).

Wedded Bliss?!

Today we celebrate 8 years of marriage...I wish I could say getting here was easy, or fun, or super romantic all the time, but to be perfectly honest, it has been the hardest thing I've ever done (and will continue doing with my life!)

My husband is an amazing man.  I am 100% sure that God made him just for me.  He is strong in all the ways I am weak, he is quick to listen and slow to anger, but most importantly, he loves God with all of his heart.

So, why has marriage been such a challenge for me? Well, I am a VERY strong woman.  I was raised to know who I am, support myself, and always follow God.  None of those things is bad, but in knowing so strongly who I am, I often fail to appreciate who God has made my husband to be.

My husband is a strong, quiet, fiercely loyal person.  He forsakes no one, which is one of the reasons I fell in love with him.  I never doubted (nor have in our entire marriage, nor will I ever in our future) how much he loves me, cares for me, and really wants me in his life.  That is an amazing thing-I know my husband loves me unconditionally.  But in my acceptance, sometimes I get flippant and even annoyed, with this blessed unconditional love.  I have often failed to return this unconditional love.  I have taken advantage of something so many people are hungry for.

 When thinking about why I do this, I realized I didn't really understand what God meant when He made woman for man.

Genesis 2:18 says, "The LORD said, 'It is not good for man to be alone.  I will make a helper suitable for him'."  My interpretation of this, early in our marriage, was that I am around to help my husband be a good father, do well at his job, or just be "good" at life.  Pretty literal and shameful interpretation for an English teacher who analyzes everything!

A while back we had a very turbulent time in our marriage.  I was so busy being selfish and needy, that I was not helping him or myself be anything but miserable.  As I began to pray about it, God gave me an insight.  I am not a theologian, but I can tell you what "Helper" really means in this verse (at least to me).  It means everything I do with him or for him should HELP point him to God.  Not to himself, myself, our kids, or his job-No! Everything I do should HELP point him to God.  With true and genuine encouragement EVERYTHING I DO SHOULD HELP POINT HIM TO GOD! That is a pretty huge calling on a wife's life!

 I know that (Biblically) men are called to be the spiritual leaders, and I'm not combating that here.  What I am saying is, have faith in your husband! Have Faith that he is leading the way God is calling him! Don't  just passively follow him because you are bound to him-HELP POINT HIM TO GOD by encouraging him in the choices he makes to follow God's plan for your family!

In my selfishness, I was not pointing him to God, I was pointing him to me.  When he responded by pointing me back to God, I got angry. As soon as I realized my calling is to help point him to God (not to me), it became easy.  Not, "we never fight", "I never complain" easy, but "I can do this because I know this is God's path for my life" easy.

I try my best and slip up more often than my awesome husband deserves,  but after 8 years in 4 states,  with 2 kids, and another upcoming move, I have learned a few ways to do this (in no particular order).

I encourage all my fellow wives, to pray through the list below and see where you can do a better job.

WIVES: 

-In that moment you feel like saying "That's a stupid Idea" or "I don't want to do that" or "How is that going to work" In your snarky, judging tone.  STOP! Say a silent prayer and just listen.  

-Initiate sex with your husband A LOT! (yup I just went there!) Remember when that was all you could think about? Now, you're busy with jobs, kids, whatever life has you doing.  You are the ONLY PERSON that your husband can enjoy in that way (and vis-versa) SO make sure you're making an effort to encourage him to enjoy you that way!

-Do one little thing he likes every day.  For example: my husband enjoys when I fold his shirts a certain way-it takes a little longer and I don't see the point, BUT I fold his shirts the way he likes so when he opens the drawer, he knows I made a little extra effort so he could have it the way he wants. Simple, but effective!

-Pray for him! Pretty self-explanatory

-Be Quiet.  I am a talker, so when there is a silence, I feel the need to fill it.  It drives my husband NUTS that I'm talking all the time, so I try very hard to sit quietly and wait for him to start a conversation (I don't always succeed, but he can always tell when I'm at least trying and it makes him smile!)

Little Godzilla Ruined My Day!

As a military spouse, we face extended times of separation.  During those times it is the job of the people left behind to take care of the families of the soldiers who are gone.  We do everything from mowing lawn to babysitting in order to make sure long times apart are a little bit easier.

My family chose to help another family who was facing an 6 month deployment.  We were happy to jump in.  We didn't know each other very well, but when you're military, you're family.  When that spouse calls, you answer, no matter what! 

The girls and I were getting ready for a picnic with my husband's unit and their families.  Translation: we were all bathed, hair done, cute outfits (and I'd even managed to put on some make-up, which is a VERY rare happening in our house!) and ready to go.

Just as we were on our way out the door, I received a frantic phone call from the spouse who we were supporting.  I automatically feared the worst: the loss of our soldier.  After calming her down enough to understand what she was saying, I was relieved to find out that her husband was fine, but the family lizard was not.  

Yup, that's what I said: The family lizard died! 

After taking a deep breath myself, to process what she'd just said to me, I asked what I could do to help.  She immediately responded that I should come over.  So, without hesitation, I loaded up the kiddos and over we went.

I had no idea what the expect, but when I arrived, she was hysterical.  After calming her down, I asked what she would like to do with the lizard.  She wanted to bury it.  So, we got a box and shovel and out to the yard we went.  She gave me the shovel and, through her crying and mumbling, pointed to the spot she'd like the lizard buried....Looks like I'm the one digging the hole!

So here we are, me (in a super cute sundress and flip-flops w/ full done hair and make up) in the 100 degree heat, digging a hole for some random reptile's final resting place, whilst Little Godzilla's owner is sobbing uncontrollably.  The excavation took about 15 minutes, we lowered the box into the hole, I covered it up and turned around to walk inside.

I thought the weird part of this situation was over, after all, the lizard was in his final resting place.  NOPE-Now I'm asked to say a few words and perhaps a prayer.

At this point, I had no idea what to say, but being the good Pastor's Kid that I am, the 23rd Psalm just started coming out of my mouth....

When I had finished residing over Little Godzilla's funeral service, it was time to leave.  I was SUPER late to the picnic and had to tell my husband and his boss 3 times what had happened b/c no one could really believe I was now officially a reptilian reverend.

In the end, I am happy that in her hard time, I was able to help.  It was weird, but I will do anything for my military sister!  I just hope that next time it doesn't involve any reptiles! 

Dear Bottle Feeding Mommy,

Dear Bottle-feeding Mommy,

You are doing an amazing job! Having a baby is the most challenging adventure you will ever take on as a woman.  You are loving and nurturing your baby every day and night, despite the lack of sleep, inexperience, and huge changes, you are succeeding (and it does get easier!).

I know that every time you take out a bottle in public, you feel a sense of dread.  I know that you wonder if the looks from other moms are looks of disappointment and disapproval.  They are not.  You are doing the best for your baby.  I know that not breastfeeding is a hard choice that you very seriously considered. Maybe you work and after trying to pump, in a dark room so many times a day, you just couldn't do it anymore.  That's OK, you are not cheating your baby by bottle feeding.

Or maybe for you, it was not a choice.  Perhaps you tried everything and your body or baby didn't cooperate.  You've agonized, lost sleep, and cried countless nights with a baby at your breast that was losing weight and still would not eat from you.  I know you didn't make this choice lightly or decide to bottle feed b/c you just thought it would be easier. You tried so hard, but in the end, it just wasn't meant for you and this baby.

Rest assured, us breastfeeding moms are not better than you and we are not judging you.  We are lucky it worked for us.  We are blessed to have that experience, so that is why we share our thoughts, pictures, and encouragement with you, perhaps naively at times.  Maybe we've said things about it that have hurt you, I am sorry, our intention is NEVER to hurt another hard working, caring mom.

Your sweet baby doesn't love you any less b/c you snuggle her, lovingly in your arms, with a bottle instead of a breast.  She is still your baby, she is still bonding with you every time you hold her, feed her, and talk to her.  You are not robbing your baby of any of your love by not breastfeeding.

There is not a "Breastfed" or "Bottle fed" box to check of on your child's college application.  No one asks in a job interview if your child was breastfed or bottle fed.  You are raising a baby who is going to be a meaningful part of society, breastfed or not. So take a deep breath, and stop feeling guilty.

Next time you take out that bottle in public, know that we are all in this together, us Moms! We are trying our best to do what we can to love and nurture our kids.  Stop worrying about what everyone else thinks about you not breastfeeding! You are a great mom and you're doing great at the most difficult job in the world.

Love and Sisterhood,
Breastfeeding Mom

Christians are mean!

I must preface this by saying this is not meant to be a complaint, but rather, an encouragement to true believers.  I love how I grew up. I have amazing parents. God showed our family great favor b/c of my father's integrity while he faithfully lead and my mother's true joy in submission to both my father and God.

I am a PK (Pastor's Kid).  I spent most every day inside the church building.  We used to jokingly say that if the doors were open, we were there, and even when the doors were closed, we were still there.

Because of my family's fierce devotion to God's calling, I have seen the gross underbelly of the church-the people who do anything to hurt those in charge, others so self-centered they choose to follow their own will rather than God's, and worstly, those who hurt us personally in order to feel better about sin in their own lives.

I am not suggesting my family was perfect.  We argued, we (mostly me in my teenage years) yelled, and there were more than a few slammed doors (again, those teenage years, YIKES).  But we always knew that the unconditional love of Jesus is what governed our family, our relationships, and our actions.  Despite rarely seeing that love manifested in a meaningful way in our interactions with church members.

That love, that glorious, unconditional, SAVING love of Jesus is what we as Christ-followers are called to.  Period, no if's, and's or but's about it! The sad thing is, I can count on one hand the number of times I actually saw that love conveyed within our various church families....

Which leads me to understand why so many of my PK counterparts have walked away from the churches they were raised in.  Churches have failed us-we have been taught about rules and rituals, but never been truly embraced and loved by those who were following our fathers' Godly leadings.

I am not suggesting that all churches are like that, but let me share a few of my own experiences:

In my pre-teen and teen years my Sunday School teacher actually called me a whore b/c of the dress I wore one Sunday (which my mother bought me and was more than modest!).  On another occasion, a girl in our youth group bought tickets for everyone to attend a Christian concert, but said to my face (in front of the whole youth group) that she didn't invite me b/c I was the PK.  I also had someone stalk me daily at school, intimidating me, yelling horrible slurs about my family and me b/c their family didn't like the new direction God was leading the church after my family's arrival.  (And these are only a few of the crazy ways I experienced church life.)

My parents were always quick to defend us.  They held us to THEIR Godly standards, not the expected standards of PK perfection (which are unattainable even for most adults).  They made sure we knew that we were accountable to them and God, not others.  For that, I am very thankful, as I believe it is the main reason I didn't just give up on these "crazy Christians" and walk away.

I still go to a Bible preaching church.  However, I have a difficult time volunteering to serve.  I am paralyzed by the idea of getting too involved and thus, ending up back on the "inside" where everyone's dirty laundry or hidden agenda, become the focus....

I know other PKs, who are now adults, and literally have anxiety when going to church.  Concerned that they will be hurt by people who call themselves Christians, but then act otherwise.

As a result of my experiences with Christians,  I don't want to be a Christian.  It's become an ugly word to me-and most of our society these days.  A word that means you say one thing and do the opposite, or you harshly judge others so you don't have to look at your own sin.  I don't want to be a hypocrite-I want to be someone with a real relationship with my God and Savior.  I want to be a Christ-follower.

I spent many hours praying this through with God.  I have come to truly appreciate those in my life that were genuine Christ-followers.  The ones who stood up and did what was right.  The ones who were not drug down by misgivings, and falsehoods of others only in the church to seek their own human satisfaction.

Those people, like my parents, various youth leaders, adopted grandparents, and family friends, are the ones I am blessed to know.  The ones God used and continues to use in my life to keep me on His path.

I now look at our most turbulent times with a new, eternal perspective.  I know God allowed me to see these things so I understand how to be real-not "I am following all the rules to be a good Christian" real, but "I'm broken and can't survive today without Jesus' love" real.

I pray that someday I will be able to volunteer in a church, fully committed to serving without opening up things in my past that have hurt so badly, but for now, I know that's part of my brokenness.  Part of my long, bumpy road to eternal glory and someday, by God's grace, I'll get there.

I didn't write this to discourage you, or complain about my tough experiences.

My intention is simply to challenge you to do 2 things:

1.) Look at what your actions are saying-Are you a TRUE Christ-Follower? What in your life demonstrates that you are?  Be real with yourself and God, but also be real with the people you go to church with.  Even when you think it's too ugly, complicated, or big, share it with the world-you never know who might be encouraged by your struggle and/or encourage you through your struggle! That's what true Christ-followers do for each other (it's in the Bible, folks! Hebrews 10:19-25 is my favorite for this one!)

2.) Uplift your your Pastor.  Be the love of Jesus to his family, you may be the only one doing that.  Satan attacks those who love God and are doing his work, so if your pastor is leading your church in a Godly direction, Satan is going to do all he can to stop that! Don't stand by silently and let Satan beat your pastor down-instead, stand with him, love him, encourage him, and know that it has an eternal impact.

Everything we do should have an eternal impact! Be a Christ-Follower in all you do.