The Happiest Place on Earth?

We just got back from a long weekend at Disney World, Ah, The Happiest Place On Earth, filled with crowds of people, long lines for everything, and crying children around every corner.  I’m starting to understand why “Happiest Place on Earth” is self proclaimed by Disney-I didn’t see many parents this weekend waiting in line for 45 minutes to meet a the 18^th character of the day who looked like they were indeed in the happiest place on earth.  So, what’s a mom to do? Well, since we live close to Disney, we’ve spent a lot of time there over the past few months.  There is a “rule” I have that I use, no matter where I am, to govern when my kids are throwing a fit (just for the sake of throwing a fit) versus being genuinely tired b/c it’s been a long day!

The rule is simple-If we’re at the first stop of the day, whether it be the grocery store or the Dumbo ride, and we have a meltdown-that’s my kid being bratty.  If it’s the 5^th stop of the day, we’re getting close to naptime, but I just HAD to stop one last place and they flip out, that’s MY FAULT for not recognizing my kids’ limits. 

We were enjoying a lovely day at the most magical of Disney’s Parks, the Magic Kingdom.  We stopped in front of Cinderella’s castle to get that iconic picture.  My 4 year old decided she didn’t want to have her picture taken.  My 4 year old who dressed up like a princess EVERY DAY is standing in front of the most princessy place on the planet, refusing to smile, seriously?!

Now, at this point, this behavior is not b/c we’ve been the park all day, she’s tired, or we’ve pushed to do too much.  Nope, she’s just choosing to be a brat, so for this we threaten punishment. I know, we’re horrible people for punishing a child at Disney World, but I’d rather be a horrible person and a good parent, than a great person with kids turning into real brats even when we’re not at Disney. So we let her know that if she doesn’t look at the camera AND smile for the picture, we will not be going to see Jessie (from Toy Story who she was dressed up to meet).  After a sassy moment of thinking (she was trying to decide in her head if that was a threat we’d really enforce) she came to the conclusion that she should do what we wanted so she could get what she wanted. 

Fast forward 8 hours: Still in the park and waiting to meet Aladdin and Jasmin (we did A LOT of waiting to see our most favorite friends) and Annie, our 2 year old, just kinda lost it.  She was hanging on the ropes in the line, trying to swing like the monkey she is, and I told her to stop.  She then throws herself on the floor and begins to scream…Yup, Happiest Place on Earth.  I picked her up and just let her cry it out.  So why didn’t she get punished for throwing a fit? Well, it’s very simple: at that point it was me as the mommy pushing the limits.  We’d been in the park all day, she’d had an insufficient 30 minute, head-bobbing, half-nap in the stroller, and it was nearing dinner time.  So I recognized that it was me causing this fit, not her.   

Now, I know some of you might be thinking it’s never ok for a child to throw a fit.  That’s just plain not true.  It’s never fun or comfortable for me when my kids throw a fit, but sometimes it’s warranted.  I’m not psychologist or doctor, but I’ve noticed something as a mom:  Kids don’t have the social acumen to understand it’s not Ok to throw yourself on the ground when you are frustrated.  That’s what we as parents are supposed to teach them.

 It’s in our sin nature to be selfish, to demand what we want, and to do anything we can to get what we want.  It’s with training, both social and spiritual, that we learn how to act without crying and ending up on the floor. Let’s be honest, I was sick of being there at that moment too-I was annoyed that people in front of us had 1 person waiting in line and when it was their turn 10 more people all with separate autograph books and cameras just showed up and HAD to get their picture taken with Aladdin and Jasmin.  I too would have liked to throw myself on the floor and say “This isn’t fair! It’s MY turn” So I get it when my 2 year old who hasn’t learned how to control that reaction wants to throw a fit.

That being said, this is still a very teachable moment.  So I picked Annie up and explained that it was their turn.  When they were done, we could go give Jasmine a big hug and take a picture, but right now we had to be patient and wait.  She tearfully said, “Ok, mommy, I be patient”. 

Sometimes as moms we get so worried about what the people around us might think about how we parent, that we do whatever we can to stop the fit.  After all, it’s damaging to our egos! No one wants to be the mom with the annoying screaming kid.  It’s true, sometimes (more often than I would like) my kids are just throwing the typical bratty kid fit-and that needs to be met with a swift response and appropriate punishment.  But sometimes they are just trying to say, “Mommy, I’m tired, it’s been a long day, please give me a break!” they just don’t know how!

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Disney World-it’s magic, wonder, AMAZING customer service.  But I also know that we have limits, so we take in the most magic we can possibly stand and leave while we’re still full of wonder and joy, instead of crying and frustration! It’s important thing to remember no matter where you’re heading with those little ones today!